Page 74 of Tarnished Queen

She moves to slide a finger between her folds, but I grab her wrist. “No. Like that. Just your finger.”

Her eyes widen, but she obeys. The tension is ratcheting up and up with every passing second. Every cell of my skin is quivering, burning. One look at Belle says she feels the exact same.

Keep myself away from her is exquisite torture. She’s moaning now and rolling her hips, desperate for a firmer touch, to be filled. But she’s being a good littlekiskaand restraining herself to just the one finger, like I told her.

Her chest is flushed pink, her nipples pebbled and begging for my mouth. I’m at the end of my patience. And when her eyes close and my name crosses her lips on a sigh, I can’t hold back another moment.

I step forward, grab her hips, and wrap her legs around me. With one thrust, I’m inside of her.

We both pause, looking at one another as I stretch her, sliding home until I’m filling her and she’s everywhere around me.

“Take me right here,” she gasps. Her fingers drag through my hair. “Just like this. Please.”

I drive into her and she rocks against me. Back and forth as we find our rhythm. It’s as natural as breathing, and every bit as vital.

I plant a hand on her chest and push her flat on her back on the desk. Then I pluck her wrist from her side and lay it on her sex. “Don’t stop touching yourself.”

Her legs hook over my shoulders, and I pulse into her as she circles her clit. Within seconds, her back is arched and her breath is coming in gasping hitches.

“Nikolai,” she gasps. “Can I? I need to… please.”

“Come for me.”

Instantly, I feel her body clamp down. The orgasm works through her and then through me. It takes me tumbling over the edge. I pump everything into her, stroking my hands down her legs as they quiver.

When it’s finally receding, Belle reaches out and grabs my hand. She twines her fingers through mine, eyes still closed. “Please don’t send me away, Nikolai.”

I’m still inside of her, and I already want more. This whole plan was foolish from the start. How could I send her half a world away?

I can’t. I won’t.

I lean over and press a kiss onto her lips. “So be it. You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying right here with me.”

23

BELLE

My body is humming. Just the memory of Nikolai’s touch, the way his voice settled over me like silk as he filled me, is intoxicating. The thought sends an orgasm aftershock through me, and I want to charge back into his office and chain myself to the desk so we can go for a repeat performance or three.

But he has work to do. And so do I.

Back in my room, I grab a pad of paper and a pen and settle into an armchair to write Elise a letter.

I want to give her space to process everything. I made the decision to lie to her about Howard, and I have to own that. But I also want her to have the entire story. I want her to understand why I did what I did.

I write one draft of the letter from start to finish and then rip it out of the binder and toss it in the trash can next to the bed. Halfway through the second, I tear it out, too.

Everything I say sounds like an excuse. Like I’m trying to pass blame to Mom or Howard or anyone but myself.

Finally, after countless pieces of crumpled paper, I settle on the simple truth:

I love you more than anything in this world, Elise, but I didn’t know how to express it. I’m sorry I failed and hurt you. I’ll always try to do better.

It’s short and to the point, but after five rereads, I can’t find anything to cut or add. I rip it carefully out of the notebook and fold it into neat thirds. Then I hop out of bed and pad into the hallway.

Elise’s door is open, but there’s no answer when I knock. I peek around the doorframe and the room is empty, so I head towards the kitchen. Nikolai’s snack cabinet has become a watering hole for the two of us. Maybe a neutral meeting place will be for the best, anyway.

But when I get to the kitchen, it’s empty, as well.

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