Page 54 of Tarnished Queen

“Do I look that different?” he asks. When my expression doesn’t change, he grimaces. “I guess I like to think I haven’t changed much.”

Aside from the newly-white hair and the extra padding around his middle, he does look more or less the same. But I desperately want him to be a fake. Right now, I’d rather he be a trick from Xena than the real deal.

Nikolai grimaces. “She is saying she doesn’t know you. Identify yourself.”

“Right. Yeah. Okay.” Howard flexes his hands nervously, thinking. Then he pats his pants pocket. “Wallet. I have my wallet. Can I get that out?”

Nikolai nods and Howard pulls out his wallet. He flashes his driver’s license to me. It's an Oklahoma ID with an overexposed photo of a man who is clearly Howard. His full name is printed next to it.Howard Ethan Schaffner.

Still, I shake my head. Not because I don’t believe him, but because I don’t want to. "Tell me something about my sister."

"Elise?" He runs a hand through his hair, his back bent. Then an idea hits him. He glances up at me. "Is she allergic to cinnamon? That one runs in my family."

I flinch. When she eats a cinnamon roll, her lips swell slightly. She wolfed down two and a half cinnamon rolls before her last school picture. "Easier than lip fillers," she'd joked.

"And does she sneeze when she looks at the sun?" he adds. "If so, she got that from me, too. It's a genetic thing."

I clench my fists at my side. “Don’t make guesses. Tell me something youknow.”

I’ve got him. Because he doesn’t know Elise. He barely knew her when he left. She doesn’t remember him, either. He doesn’t know a damn thing.

Howard frowns, his brows pinching together in concentration. Then his face smooths and he smiles right at me. “You used to draw little houses.”

The air seems to suck out of the room.

I can’t breathe. Can’t move. I just stare at him.

“You drew them with pencils and, when you ran out of pencils, you used your mom’s makeup. She hated that.” He chuckles at the memory. “I bought you a pack of crayons once, and boy, that really ticked her off. She said you were going to draw all over the walls, but I told her you were too old for that.”

She’s eleven, Melinda. I think she can control herself.I remember him saying those exact words. I felt so big in that moment. So seen. I can still picture the way Howard rolled his eyes at my mom and then gave me a conspiratorial wink.

But now, the memory twists my stomach.

“Something else,” I snap.

Howard sighs. “Belle. Come on. It’s me. You have to remember me.”

“I don’t have to do anything. I’m not the one who left and abandoned my daughter. I don’t need to earn back anyone’s trust. I know who I am,” I say, jamming a finger in my chest. “I’m Elise’s big sister. I’m the only person who has ever taken care of her. Now, who the fuck are you?”

Nikolai shifts towards me. “Do you recognize him or not?”

Still staring at Howard, I shake my head. “Give him a DNA test.”

“He isn’t worth the trouble. If you know him, we figure out what he wants. If we don’t, I kill him.”

Howard inhales sharply. “She knows me! You know she knows me.”

Nikolai snaps his attention to Howard. “You don’t know what I know. I’d keep your mouth shut if I were you, stranger.”

Howard presses his lips together tightly, but I can feel him looking at me. His gaze is saying more than words ever could. He’s pleading with me to recognize him, to admit the truth: I know Howard and he is who he says he is.

“Well?” Nikolai presses.

I stare at Howard, and the seconds seem to stretch and transform.

“Why now?” I ask through gritted teeth. “You missed out on Elise’s entire life. Why come back for her now?”

“Your mom asked for my help.”

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