Page 59 of Tarnished Queen

“Why does it sound like you’re defending him?”

“Because you’re looking for a reason to be pissed with me.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “Usually, you’re more than happy to supply me with a reason. This is a first.”

“I can lock you in your bedroom tonight if you want. For old times’ sake.”

“How generous. I’ll think about it,” I snark back. “I’m really just annoyed because you’re the guy who is all about loyalty, but you don’t seem to care that Howard abandoned his kid. Doesn’t that go against all of your core Bratvian tenets?”

“Bratvian what?” he asks, biting back a laugh.

“You know what I mean! You’re supposed to care that this guy abandoned Elise.”

He shrugs. “Why? He isn’t my father. He didn’t abandon me.”

“Because Elise is worth sticking around for,” I grit out. “Because I love her.”

“I don’t make it a habit to feel things on behalf of other people. This is between Howard and Elise. It has nothing to do with me.”

“Yet you have no problem at all inserting yourself into my business.”

“Because you have a lot to do with me,” he says. “You’re pregnant with my child, for one.”

I snap my fingers. “See? You’re already an involved parent and our child hasn’t even been born. How do you not hate Howard?”

“I don’t think it’s fair to go around comparing men to me. The rest of them really don’t stand a chance.”

It’s my turn to bite back a laugh. "Humble as ever."

"The point stands. I am the leader of a Bratva. I have hundreds of men under control and enough money for several lifetimes. It's not exactly fair to compare the kind of father I'll be to the average Joe. Maybe Howard is doing his best."

"If this is his best, it's not good enough!"

"At least he gives a shit," Nikolai snaps. "At least he wants to make things right.”

“Why does he deserve a second chance? Why should I give him the chance to have a relationship with her after he fucked it up the first time?”

“You’re right.”

My jaw nearly drops. “Pardon?”

“You’re right,” he repeats grimly. “Howard doesn't deserve it. But doesn’t Elise?”

I clamp my lips together and look away, but Nikolai slides his chair to the side, staying in my line of vision.

“You said yesterday you were jealous of Elise because her father came back for her. Maybe you’re trying to keep them apart because yours never came back for you.”

“Oh, so you’re an armchair therapist now?” I seethe, even as I feel the hot sting of incoming tears. “My dad died, for the record. He didn’t abandon me.”

“Tell that to nine-year-old Belle,” he says. “I’m sure she didn’t understand the difference. All she knew was that her dad was gone overnight. And considering you’re now an adult who is jealous of her teenage sister, I don’t think you ever quite let go of that bitterness.” He pauses, then adds, “I understand what you feel, Belle.”

“I thought you didn’t make a habit of feeling other people’s emotions.”

“I don’t. I feel my own. My parents are dead and never coming back. So yes—like it or not, I know how you feel.”

The wind in my angry sails dissipates. I sag. “What happened to them?”

“Cancer took my mother,” he says. “She went quickly since we couldn’t afford the treatments. And that ate my dad up inside. He couldn’t handle the shame. He killed himself not long after. I was a little younger than Elise.”

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