Page 105 of Tarnished Queen

We come that way, me looking up at him while he looks down at me. We’re sweaty and panting, but I have to bite my lip to keep from crying.

Because this is the best sex I’ve ever had…

But it feels dangerously close to saying goodbye.

31

BELLE

Two days later, the real goodbye arrives.

It’s midweek and early morning, so the airport isn’t as busy as it could be, but it still feels like there are too many people around. Especially since I’m crying like a baby.

“You’ll be back before you know it,” Nikolai says, swiping a calloused thumb over my cheek. “It won’t be long. I’ll take care of everything here and then you all can come back.”

I nod, but I don’t really believe him. Because right now, this feels like the end.

Elise is sitting against the windows with her headphones on. She took the news about going to Iceland surprisingly well. Especially once I told her Howard would be coming with us.

“I don’t even know if Elise will want to come back,” I mumble to Nikolai. “She wants to spend time with Howard.”

“That’s a good thing, Belle.”

There’s nothing but sincerity in his face. He believes that, so I guess I’ll try to do the same.

“Speaking of,” Nikolai says, inclining his head towards the doors, “he’s here.”

I turn around just as Howard lugs a rolling suitcase through the automatic doors. I’ve seen him a few times now, but it’s still surprising how much he looks like Elise. Even the way he kicks at the stuck wheel of his luggage in a burst of frustration reminds me of my sister.

Elise is still lost in her phone, scrolling and paying zero attention. I’d be frustrated with her being so oblivious if it wasn’t useful to me at the moment.

“Watch Elise for a sec?” I ask. “I want to talk to Howard before she sees him.”

Nikolai nods and leans back against the wall. “Don’t give him too much hell.”

“I’m not going to give him any hell,” I say with a frown.

Nikolai just gives me an amused smile. He doesn’t look convinced.

Howard is scanning the lobby for us as I approach. When he sees me, his face splits into a wide grin. “I’m glad to see you, Belle.”

“Were you expecting not to?”

I’ve been ironing out the details of our travel with him for the last two days. I was so anxious that I made sure we had everything planned out to the minute.

“Well, kind of,” he admits with a shrug. “The last two days have been so crazy that I was starting to think I made up all of this. I mean, Iceland? I’ve barely even thought about Iceland as even, like, a general concept before, and now, I’m going to be there indefinitely.”

“That was Elise’s choice. She had a few options—South Korea, France, New Zealand. Italy was her second choice. But she wanted to go back to Iceland.”

He strokes his chin thoughtfully. It looks like something she does, too, and I can’t help but feel a frisson of heartsick familiarity ripple through me. “I probably would have gone for France. If I could eat bread, cheese, and chocolate for every meal, I would. What about you?” he asks. “Where would you have gone?”

Strangely, the thought hasn’t even crossed my mind. I gave Elise full control over the destination without a second thought. “Wherever Elise wanted to go,” I say. “That’s why we’re doing this in the first place. To keep her safe.”

Howard’s expression turns serious. “Right. Of course.”

“That’s why you’re coming, too, right?” I ask. “Because you want to keep Elise safe?”

When asking him to come, I tried to bury the lede that we were leaving the country to live large somewhere else. For all he knew, Howard agreed to spending weeks on end in some kind of cement underground bunker, eating tuna out of a can. I didn’t want him to agree to an all-expenses paid vacation instead of taking care of his own daughter.

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