Page 4 of Nailed (Dad Bod Contracting 3)
Audra snorts. “If it was so good, why aren’t you with those guys?”
Imogen whacks her on the shoulder. “Because good sex doesn’t mean a good relationship—you should know that better than any of us.”
Audra tips her head to one side. “True, true. But then you have to talk about great sex. I think if you have a great relationship, you’re going to have great sex.”
“I don’t know about that,” Nova said. “What constitutes great sex or a great relationship? How do you quantify that?”
Audra just grins wickedly. “Great sex is simple—crazy sex that’s intensely gratifying, with feelings.” She shrugs. “A great relationship? I’m not sure I could quantify that one.”
Imogen holds up a finger. “I can. It’s when you’re crazy in love, and you’re totally committed to each other for life. It’s when the sex can be totally vanilla but still satisfying and intense, so trying new positions is just icing on the cake, because you don’t need the crazy stuff to feel good. It’s having the best of all the worlds. When you don’t even need to have sex to be totally gratified and happy—you’re just…happy to be near each other.”
Audra holds up a hand, and Imogen high-fives her. “Preach, sister!” Audra says, laughing.
Nova and I just exchange irritated glances.
“Well, I guess I wouldn’t know what that’s like, would I?” I snap.
Audra gives me a long stare. “You could, though.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Don’t.” I point a finger at her. “Do not.”
She holds up her hands palms out. “I’m just saying—between the four of us, the worst thing we could find to say about Ryder is that he has a thing for crazy chicks—and thus, crazy sex. Which would work in your favor, because crazy sex is always worth it, even if it doesn’t lead to good sex or a great relationship.”
I sigh, scrubbing my hands down my face. “You had to go there?”
Audra just grins at me. “You know it. If there’s a there to go to, I’ll go there, and probably ten steps beyond it.”
Imogen laughs. “That is God’s own truth!” She side-hugs Audra. “Nobody can make a totally innocent situation dirty as fast as you.”
“It’s my specialty, what can I say?” Audra says, with a cutesy shrug and expression.
“Ten Hail Marys?” Nova suggests, laughing. “Or…maybe ten Hail Marys per guy you slept with?
Audra cackles. “I’d be saying Hail Marys for the rest of my life!” She smirks at Nova. “Going by the stories you were telling, though, I don’t think you’re too far behind me.”
Nova just smirks. “Wouldn’t you like to know? Nobody knows my number.”
Imogen frowns. “Her number?”
Audra fishes a credit card out of her purse. “The number of guys she’s slept with.”
Imogen laughs. “Oh. Well…I can tell you my number with one hand, and I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed or proud of that.”
I hold up my hand for a high five. “Same! Single digit partners sisters.”
Imogen high-fives me. “Unlike Señora Slutty Buns here,” she indicates Audra, “who would need to use both hands, both feet, both tits, and most of the hairs on her head to count, like, half of her sexual partners.”
Audra glares. “Are you slut-shaming me, Imogen Catherine Irving?”
“Yup!”
Audra breaks into cackles, leaning into Imogen. “Fair enough.” She turns serious, her eyes on me. “I think you should just get it over with and sleep with Ryder.”
I huff. “He stopped answering my calls and texts. Just…poof. Gone. Nothing. Nada.”
“So?” Audra gestures at herself and then Imogen. “We know where he works.”
“So, I’m not going to chase him. If he stopped wanting to talk to me, I’m not going to force it.”
“He’s just chicken because he likes you.” Audra flags down the waitress. “One more pitcher, and the bill on this card.” She hands the waitress her credit card before any of us can protest.
“Hey!” Imogen snaps. “We’re splitting it!”
“Not anymore!” Audra slaps the table. “I’ve made an executive decision for the group—we meet here once a week, and we take turns paying the entire bill. It’s a standing date, no breaking it for anything except the most important events.”
The other three of us exchange glances, and then Imogen nods and shrugs. “I’m in.”
“Me too,” Nova says. “I needed this in a bad way.”
“I’ll probably have to take out a loan to pay for it with the way we drink, but I’m in too,” I say.
The waitress comes by with another pitcher of skinny margaritas and the bill for Audra to sign, and then, for some reason, all attention is on me.
“What?” I ask. “Why is everyone looking at me?”
Imogen smirks, tapping me on the tip of the nose. “We’re waiting for you to tell us what you’re going to do about Ryder.”
“Nothing. I’m going to forget about him.”
“So why did we come here, then?” Audra says, frowning. “I thought this was about talking you into fucking him.”
