Page 43 of Hammered (Dad Bod Contracting 1)
Audra shakes her head. “You make no sense, woman. What should you do? Ride that dick, girlfriend!”
“Audra!” I scold.
She cackles again. “Do you expect anything less from me? Do you know me? Have you met me? I’m the least appropriate person on the planet, and you know it.” She goes serious. “For real, though. You should totally sleep with him. Why wouldn’t you?”
“I’m scared?”
“Of the size of his dick? Have you seen it?”
I snort, and almost choke on the wine I was in the middle of swallowing. “God, no!” I glance at the ceiling and shrug. “Well, sort of. I kinda, sorta sent him a topless photo. I had pasties on, but still. Well, not pasties, exactly. Those big pink heart stickers I used for my wedding invitations. I sent him that, and he sent me a pic he took in the public bathroom of his favorite dive bar—of him in his underwear. So…I got a sort of glimpse at what he’s rocking. And yeah, I’m a little afraid.”
“Show me! I wanna see!” Again, she says this while trying to chew a mouthful of food, making it muffled.
“Um, no!”
“I’ve shown you pics guys have sent me,” she whines.
“Yeah, but you don’t really care about them. It’s all about riding the dick for you, slutty-buns.”
For once, Audra seems to take real offense. “Hey now, that’s not fair. I do care about them. I just…don’t believe in love.”
“I’m sorry, that was rude.”
She seems somewhat mollified, but not all the way. “You have to show me, now. Otherwise I’ll be offended for at least two weeks. And then who will you have wet burritos and margaritas with?”
I sigh. “If he’d sent me an actual nude, I’d say no. But it’s just underwear, so…fine.”
I pull out my phone, bring up the photo, and show it to her. She blinks at the photo in admiration for a moment, and then pulls the screen closer to her face. “Wait—is that…” She touches the screen with thumb and forefinger and spreads them apart to zoom in. “It is! He’s actually peeking out of those tighty blackies.”
Her comment blasts a laugh out of me, spraying rice and chicken everywhere. “Tighty blackies? Really, Audra?”
She’s still staring at the phone. “Jeee-sus, Imogen. You weren’t lying—the man is gorgeous, in a rugged, rough-hewn sort of way.” She glances up at me. “Does he have any hot friends?”
I grin. “Actually, I did meet one of the guys he works with, and yeah, he’s…um…yeah. He’s hot, too.”
“I demand an introduction, in that case,” she says, handing the phone back to me finally, but then immediately snatches it back. “Wait—I need to see the photo you sent him.”
I reach for the phone, trying to take it from her. “NO! It’s embarrassing!”
Audra tosses her plate onto the coffee table and hops over the back of the couch with enviable agility. “Just let me look! It’s not like I’ve never seen you naked before, dummy. We used to go skinny-dipping together all the time in the lake at my parents’ cottage up north.”
I sink back to the couch in defeat. “If you make fun of me, we’ll be fighting for real.”
While I clean up the mess I made, Audra scrolls through my phone to find the photo, looks at it for a moment or two, and then lifts her eyes to me. “Why are you embarrassed by this, Imogen?” Her voice is uncharacteristically serious. “It’s a beautiful, tasteful, sensual photo. You’re beautiful. He’s a lucky man.”
I shake my head and snort, but inside I’m fighting a lump in my throat. “Sending that was terrifying. And I felt awkward as hell taking it. I think I took like fifty before I got that one that felt right.”
Audra is not fooled. “Why does it feel like you’re about to cry?”
I duck my head. “Feeling good about how I look is…difficult. Nicholas made sure of that.”
Audra is back over the couch and sitting next to me in an instant. “That’s why you need this, Imogen. This guy makes you feel beautiful?”
I nod, swallowing hard. “Yeah, he really does.”
“And he’s gorgeous, has a big package, he’s muscular, and you said he’s nice and funny, and he’s got skills, and he’s willing to go out of his way to do things for you.” She gives me a look that says, what are you, stupid? “I don’t see the downside, here. What’s holding you back?”
“I’m scared, Audra.”
“Again—of what?”
“I really, really like him. And I really, really want him.”
“But…?” she prompts.
“It’s not a but, it’s a…it’s that I like him maybe too much. He’s a player.” I bob my head to one side. “Not a player—that’s not fair to him. He just doesn’t date.”
“So he’s like me?”
I nod. “And you know I love you. But if you slept with a guy, and he started falling for you, what would you do?”
