Page 44 of Hunger

“I wanted to apologize,” he says smoothly. “For what happened earlier.”

“You don’t have to,” I reply, keeping my voice low. “Sorry, I’m kind of busy now.”

“Yeah, she’s kind of busy,” says a deep voice just behind me.

I pivot, loosening my grip on the door which opens wider, to find Kohl standing just ten feet away, his face as vicious as thunder.

Fuck.

I find Grey’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t—”

“Do you need help?” he asks, sliding his increasingly harsh glare onto the man behind me.

“No. She doesn’t need any fucking help.”

“Kohl, stop.”

“I’m sorry,” responds Grey after a moment, “but I don’t believe you.”

“Indie,” growls the man behind me. “Close the fucking door so we can finish talking. I’m not done here.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I tried to explain. I’m done.” I turn to face him, hoping to create a barrier between him and Grey. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to drag this out.”

“I swear to God, if you let him into this apartment.”

“I won’t. I promise.” My gaze locates Grey’s. “Can you just go back home?”

“I’ll wait outside. That’s the best I can do.”

I open the door wide. Kohl’s expression pleads with mine but I shake my head, watching as he yanks his coat off the hook after a moment, puts on his shoes and leaves.

As he sees Grey standing fifteen feet away near his door, Kohl stops to face him, taking a moment to breathe as if restraining himself before leaving, turning the corner until he’s out of sight.

As the elevator dings and I hear the door slide shut, I thank Grey, who takes hold of my arm as I turn to go back inside.

“Wait a minute.”

“I can’t talk now,” I say. “It’s not fair to him. I just need to be alone for a bit. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Indie…”

“I’m sorry.”

I close the door, sitting down on the floor, still a little shaken but glad it’s over.

* * *

Two hours, two glasses of white wine and a truckload of guilt later, I hold my stomach with my hand, feeling a little nauseous.

I mean, that could have gone worse, but it still left me unsettled.

What’s worse is, I got myself into that mess thinking I could handle something casual when I clearly can’t.

If I'm going to heal, I’ll do it alone with my family and friends and not count on a man to help me through, even a man as decent as Kohl.

I get to my feet, scanning the living room, picking up a glass from the coffee table and putting it into the dishwasher.

I take a sponge from the sink and wipe down the kitchen cabinets for the third time, wanting to make sure the place is spotless for when Carrie gets here in an hour.