Page 267 of Hunger

“But I bet she wants it, right? That’s why she was throwing daggers at me as if she wanted to ram her knife through my windpipe, isn’t it? Another stranger to add to the list of people who now hate me.”

Her slight fingers wrap around her arms as she peers up at me as if wanting me to reassure her—to tell her that Gabriella is as opposed to this union as I am. Only I can’t, for I know she’d be willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen, to the point that I have to block her number to stop the barrage of messages, of pictures, of voicemails she sends my way, and to inform security in my building to never let her in.

“She does want it?” she asks softly. “Doesn’t she?”

I steel myself to answer. “Yes. She wants it.”

“Well, that’s just great.”

As her breathing rattles, my fingers itch to touch her, to carry her, to pin her down and obliterate the fear from her body.

“Did you know she was going to be there?” she finally asks.

“Of course not.”

“But your parents knew, right? They designed that little freakshow at the end, didn’t they?” Another tear falls down her delicate face. “So, they must think there’s a chance you’ll end up with her.”

“They believe that if they pressure me for long enough, I’ll give in.” I step forwards, my tone resolute. “Iwon’t. She means nothing to me, Indigo. Your very existence blasts hers into oblivion. You are everything she isn’t. Your color. Your strength. The way you treat me. The way youlove.” The word hangs heavily over us, for neither of us has said it, both no doubt afraid that once we do, we can’t go back. “I’ve never hungered for her the way I do you, nor dreamed of her voice. I’ve never been ravenous for her flesh the way I am for yours, or felt consumed to the point of insanity by her the way I’ve felt about you since the first day we met.”

“But it would make everyone happy, wouldn’t it? Isn’t that how you’d get daddy’s approval?”

“He offers approval in dregs that he takes away, Indigo. We both know that.”

“And we both know how much children yearn for their parents’ approval,” she replies. “Even abusive parents.”

“Yes,” I reply solemnly.

“You… you slept with her, didn’t you?” Her arms wrap tightly around her waist.

“Yes. We were a couple… many years ago. In my early twenties, I was resigned to it. And seeing as I have certain… emotional limitations, I thought maybe it would be the right thing to do. We dated on and off with the understanding that when we hit thirty, we’d be married. But around twenty-five, the unease I was living became intolerable. I knew that not only did I not love this woman, I didn’tlikeher either. It became more and more difficult to entertain. And then when I met you, it became impossible.”

“But that’s why you wanted me to meet them so much, isn’t it? I’m this thing you want them to accept so that they get off your back about her?”

“I never thought they would accept you. Not really.”

She frowns, swallowing thickly. “Then, why?”

“Because… I’m trying to be human, Indigo… for once.”

She shakes her head, looking as if she’s alone and wandering through some thick forest in the dark… lost and afraid.

Only I don’t know if I’m the man who will rescue her or the wolf stalking her, just waiting for the chance to bite.

“I’m gonna call a cab,” she finally says, a tear dripping between her plump lips. “I think I should go home.”

“I can take you home… or… you can spend the night in your room. I won’t go near you. I won’t ask to talk. Tomorrow, if you still want to leave, I’ll drive you back”

She contemplates the plea for a moment. “Okay. But I don’t want you knocking on the door, or coming into my room. We can’t fuck our way out of this. I need some space. And I may decide to call my friends and rant dramatically about tonight and I don’t want you listening.”

I bow my head in acquiescence to her request.

She watches me for a moment before picking up her purse from the table and leaving the room, plunging it into darkness.

59

Landon Everitt

My hands ball into fists as Vitaly stares at me from the other side of the table.