Page 19 of Broken

He grips my aching face in his fist, forcing me to look at him.

“You leave her like a fucking coward, then take advantage of her when she’s most vulnerable!”

He slams me against the wall, not as hard as the first time.

“I’m sorry,” I plead, not knowing what else to say. “I didn’t mean to. I just—” I feel it happening, but it’s out of my control. My eyes well over, tears slipping down my cheeks. The canyon inside my chest, growing larger every day, finally cracks and crumbles, too deep to ever be repaired. My breath comes in a heaving sob. “I’m sorry,” I cry, even though I’m not. Even though I’d do it again in a heartbeat. But that’s because I’m a bastard, and every day I prove it more. “I needed her so bad! I needed to touch her. I miss you,” I blubber, my body collapsing in on itself.

I slide an inch or two down the wall as my knees give in and my shoes slip on the carpet, no longer able to support my own weight. My head falls forward as my shoulders bow, the gravity of what I’ve done breaking more than just my soul. “I’m so sorry,” I sob, bringing my hands to my face to cover my tears.

“Ah, baby,” Justin sighs, pulling me up into his arms. I grip him to me as tight as I can, the surety in his bones giving me strength.

“It’s okay,” he whispers into my ear, his hand cupping the side of my face while the other runs circles over my back. I cling to him like a life raft, my fingers knotting in the back of his suit. If I could climb inside him, I would. It’s the only place I’ve ever felt whole. He smells like my favorite cologne, and he feels like home when he wraps his arms around me.

I only sob harder.

“It’s okay, baby,” he soothes, his lips moving softly against my ear. “She needs you too. We both do. You’re punishing us all, and for what? For your father? For a man who doesn’t have a compassionate bone in his body?” He tilts my chin up to look at him and rests his forehead against mine.

“He doesn’t deserve your loyalty, Remi. But Julia? She does. Look at her, Remi.”

I don’t take my forehead from Justin’s. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. He’s the only thing keeping me upright. But together, we tilt our heads to the sides until the weeping, beautiful woman we both love comes squarely into our view.

“Look at her,” he whispers. “She loves you, and she’s hurting, and I’ve tried, but there’s nothing I can do. She’s broken, baby, and only you can put her back together.”

I gasp in tiny heaves, trying to get myself under control.

Julia. Our Julia.

Broken.

Because of me.

I broke her.

But I can put her back together again.

“I love you,” I whisper, and Justin sags under the weight of my words.

“I know you do, baby. I know. You’re my good boy, aren’t you? Always trying to do the right thing, no matter the cost to you. Come home with us, and everything will be okay. I promise, Remi. Just come home.”

I blink at him, letting his words wash over me. I feel lightheaded. Dazed. I look at him like an owl, and he just smiles and nods his head. Justin, he’ll take care of me. He always does.

“Home?”

Yes. I want to come home. I want to sleep with Julia between us, and Justin’s arm stretched until it touches my back. I want—

“Justin,” I hear softly, in a voice that doesn’t belong to Jules. Fear shoots up my spine, and I rip myself away from Justin with wide eyes when I see his mother with her hand on his shoulder. “You’ve gathered an audience,” she says quietly, gesturing minutely to the crowd of people lining the hallway.

Mrs. Williams steps in between us, offering me her hand.

“Let Justin take you back to the house, Remi. I’ll make your goodbyes to everyone important.”

She steps over the line of propriety and touches me like a mother, using her hanky to wipe away my tears. Now I know I’m having an out-of-body experience because my mother would never be so kind.

“I know you’re in a bad place, Son, but let us help you.”

Her eyes are pleading, her voice soft and earnest. She places her arms on my biceps, giving them each a squeeze.

But I only hear one word that passes her lips.

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