I’m ready to do what Amy wanted me to.
To live. To love.
To beg the woman I’m in love with to take me back.
I just need to tell my former in-laws.
Pastor Williams rounds the corner with a big smile, outstretching his hand.
“I’m so glad you’ve come,” he says. He hesitates before he pulls me in for a hug and we slap each other’s backs.
We talk about our families, the weather. The upcoming event at the brewery, a companion to our nineties-themed party we had last year. It’s Y2K, and I’m expecting lots of boy band costumes.
I wheel in the boxes on the dolly I brought, and Marla goes for the books immediately. Marla cries again.
“When Amy was a little girl, we used to go to the library twice a week. It was an obsession.”
She pulls out all sorts of books. Hardback books, paperbacks. When she got to the bottom with the childhood books, Marla pulls out a small paperback.
“Amy loved this one. So much. She asked us to get a beagle constantly. We always said no dogs because we weren’t home a lot, but we really should’ve gotten one.”
She shows me the book, and my stomach drops.
The book is calledShiloh.
There’s a dog on the front.
Amy has been trying to tell me all along. Shiloh is the one.
I spent so long trying to ignore what I was feeling, thinking it wasn’t right, that I was disrespecting Amy. I wasn’t.
There were signs all along.
“Isn’t that the name of Earl Abbott’s granddaughter?” Rob asks. “The one you’re friends with?”
“Yes,” I answer before they can.
“When we met her, she said you two have become close.”
“We had,” I say, rubbing my hands together. I look up and I say, “I’m in love with her.”
Bracing for their reactions, my eyes flick from Marla to Rob and back again. I want to say so much more, but the fact I’m in love with Shiloh is the full truth.
It doesn’t cancel the love I had for Amy.
I feel her presence more than ever.
Marla covers her chest with her hand. “That’s lovely, my dear.”
Rob stands by his wife, wrapping his arm around her. “She seems like a wonderful person.”
“It doesn’t mean I didn’t love Amy. I did. Very much.”
“We know that, dear,” Marla says, leaning forward to pat my knee. “You loved our daughter so well, and Shiloh is a lucky woman that she gets your love. We would love to get to know her.”
There are so many things I need to do to earn her trust again. To convince her that I have healed, that I’m ready to move forward in life. With her.
Like my list with Dr. Vernon, my list for Shiloh is long.