Page 36 of Golden Hour

I bite my lip. I’ve been making grilled cheese every night, and he grumbled last time. I’m so exhausted I could crumble to the floor in a ball, and I know he would love takeout, not the healthy meals he eats. Still, childhood habits die hard. Parting with money makes my breath quicken, my heart race.

We agreed I would pay for food if I stayed here to make myself feel useful. Still, my hands shake as I pull out the takeout menus. I hold up a fan of three of them. “Chinese, Italian, or pizza?”

“Pizza. Please don’t order pineapple again. Fruit doesn’t belong on pizza.”

I chuckle. “Sure thing, Papa. Pepperoni with mushrooms and olives?” Papa sticks his thumb up and purses his lips in agreement.

My phone buzzes again as my thumb hovers over the hyperlinked phone number on Booker’s Pizza’s webpage.

Jackson:It was nice hanging out with you today, my most platonic of platonic friends.

My heart switches from thumps about spending money to his text. I can hear the timbre of his voice in my head, saying these words. In my imagination, he jokes, gives me a look that makes my legs shaky.

No, that text means nothing. Just because the grump says one nice thing doesn’t mean he likes me like that. Hopes will not reach sky-high proportions. Just gratitude, not flirting.

We also made it clear we weren’t looking for romance, but tell my ovaries that.

When the pizza arrives, I hand over the cash with shaky hands. Papa and I eat our weight in pizza, and I drink two root beers as we watchBlue Bloods, shouting at the TV and giggling when the other yells something with passion. I say goodnight, get into my PJs, and get into bed.

My grandpa is the love of my life. He has to be.

However, when I sleep that night, I have the same dream I did the night before my first day, but it’s different. We’re still at the lake. It’s still golden hour, with the warm glow casting a blanket of light.

The same woman pulls me by the hand to the man, who now has a face, when he didn’t before.

The man in my dreams wears glasses that constantly fall down his nose, with hair a little too long and an overgrown beard, like an unruly bush in someone’s backyard. The woman leads me again by the arm, and I resist her. The dream woman continues to coax me, but I fight and dig my heels in.

I wake up in a cold sweat, because now I realize the man in my dreams is Jackson.

13

Jackson

When we walk into the Swift, I know instantly I should’ve stayed home. There’re way too many people here. My palms sweat and my mouth dries as I walk through the crowd, finding a table. This place is muggy because of body sweat. Gross.

I located all exits in case things become too overwhelming. I need to obtain lots of alcohol to make this night bearable.

The night promised loads of cringe, and it delivered in the form of my dorky, younger brother.

I’m not proud of this, but we bullied Reid into singing “A Whole New World” with Whitney.

My brother Reid has lovedAladdinsince he could barely walk, and when Whitney and Annie showed up, I thought he would clam up and be his usual stiff-as-a-board self.

Instead, he accepted the challenge with no shame. I was immediately glad Shiloh talked me into coming. I laughed so hard I flopped in my chair, and Emily, Cam, and Annie looked at me like they might need to sedate me.

The alcohol helped. My shoulders have lowered, and I’m not scanning the room for social landmines. Because there are so many people, I’ve blended in, especially as I’ve stayed seated. Reid and Whitney have disappeared to the bar, Cameron and Annie are talking and cuddling, while Emily and I sit, sipping our cocktails and feeling very, very single.

“It’s just you and me, Jackson,” Emily says. We touch glasses and sip.

“Do you think Reid can land Whitney?”

“If he steps up his game.” We both look around, but we don’t see them.

“Did you talk to Olive about the raccoons?”

“Oh yes, we discussed it thoroughly. I tried to remove the cat food for Thelma and Louise, and Olive threw a fit. But it’s for the best. We can’t have any more raccoon attacks, and they come in threes. I’m terrified for what comes next.”

“No shit.”

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