Page 136 of You Might Be Bad for Me

As I climb the stairs to go pass out, loneliness settles in my chest.

The idea of Addison never coming back hits me hard. The possibility of never seeing her again.

It’s very obvious to me in this moment that I don’t like it.

More than I don’t like how she’s younger than me.

More than I don’t like how she looks at me the way I look at her when I know she’s not looking.

More than I don’t like that she’s Tyler’s.

* * *

Every daythere’s a memory I’ve forgotten. Haunting me. Showing me how I could have stopped the inevitable. Or at least changed our fates.

Late at night, holding Addison as she sleeps, I wonder if Tyler would still be alive if I had done something different. Or if I’d be the one buried in the ground now.

Fall has arrived and each step I take down Rodney Street is accompanied with the crunch of dead and withered leaves. My steps are heavy tonight because I know Marcus is going to be here.

He’s finally come with whatever it is Carter’s been waiting for. I know Marcus’ patterns. He spends weeks scouting out a place and making sure you go to one location he has constant eyes on. And when he’s found where he’s comfortable, he delivers.

He’s found that place at the park on the corner of Rodney and Seventh.

After tonight I have no reason to stay here. Addison will either come with me, or leave me. It’s too good right now to think she’ll refuse me, but she’s run before and it’s entirely possible she’ll do it again.

I glance down the side street to see what block I’m on and my heart freezes.

The man in the black leather jacket, the one who stopped to look at Addison. That first day I watched her in the coffee shop and saw him staring at her. It’s him. I swear I saw him melt into the shadows down the street.

“Hey!” I call out, more to see if he’ll move than to actually get a reaction. But there’s only silence. I barely glance to my right to check for cars as I run across the street. The cool air does nothing to calm my heated skin or the anxiety rushing through my blood.

I’m ready for a fight when I get there, but the shadowy corner is only a dead end. And no one’s there.

A chill flows over my skin and I look all around me. It’s no one. There’s no one here.

It’s hard to swallow as I walk back across the street.It’s just paranoia, I tell myself. It’s nothing. But still, all of my thoughts lead back to Addison. To her being alone.

She’s messing with my head.

I think about every way she’s consumed me with each step I take.

I can’t see anything other than her when she’s around me.

Every breath she takes depletes the air from my lungs.

I hated her for it back then, back when she was with Tyler. When she smiled at him instead of me. She tempted me, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

But time changes everything.

Every step she takes closer to me makes my fingers itch to grab on to her and never let go.

Fate simply waits for men like me. So it can fuck us over until we fall to our knees and admit there isn’t a damn good thing about us.

Addison has no idea what she does to me.

She’ll be the death of all that’s good in me. I would lose focus of everything just to have a miniscule piece of her attention. I’d steal for her. I’d kill for her. I already have.

Goosebumps still cover my body as I get to the empty park. It’s in the back of a small church that’s surrounded by woods. I guess for Sunday school.

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