Page 1 of When I Found You

Chapter One

Katherine

This year sucked. Every single brutal moment. I’m glad it’s over, but a new year doesn’t mean a fresh start. So, I took a walk to clear my head and ended up in the one place I could breathe. The place I associate with Dad, and now Mom. The loneliness intensifies as I stare out over the expanse of Lower Manhattan, an ominous twinkling maw of dark disappointment.

I embrace the howl of the wind whipping my hair. My eyes water and my cheeks and nose burn from the icy chill. I turn my back against it, snagging a perfect view of Freedom Tower gleaming in the distance.

I had to bribe the guard to give me ten minutes on the observation deck. My father worked in this building years ago. I can’t see the Empire State Building without thinking of him. Or Mom. It seems only fitting to spend my final moments where I feel closest to them.

The past few months only added fuel to the raging dumpster fire that will forever be known as the year from hell. After the beginning of the year where a pandemic tipped the economic scales right into the toilet, I found myself unemployed as well as grieving. Not only did the six-year relationship with a man I thought I loved come to an abrupt end, but it happened only days after I lost Mom.

When this year started, I had hope, now I want nothing more than to join my parents in Brooklyn cemetery. Life is a joke, and I am no longer amused.

The city lay in eerie silence below. It should be raucous and vivacious celebrating the end of the shittiest year on record. Instead, everyone hides inside their homes terrified of what the new year will bring.

A cold gust of air from the Hudson River and some scattered snow flakes wrap around me. I’m reminded of a film tucked somewhere in the back of my mind where two lovers meet on the top of the Empire State Building. But I’m not here to meet a lover. No, I’m here to end the miserable existence I call life.

This year took the very last fuck out of my savings account of fucks to give. I’ve got nothing left. Cancer took Mom in November. That was the final straw, honestly. While Mom was here, I had a purpose, a reason to keep going. Now, there’s nothing. I can’t even see a silver lining in the distance, it’s all hazy and distorted like a mist hovering over the edge of a cliff. I might as well embrace the inevitable.

It’s over.

I glance over the edge of the railing of the towering skyscraper. Since the lockdowns, the building management began construction on the observation deck, which removed the typical barriers protecting pedestrians from dealing with items being tossed from a hundred floors up. But now there’s nothing between me and the ledge. The lights of Freedom Tower flicker in the distance. A beacon of hope and perseverance, but I remember, and it does nothing to quell the hopelessness constricting my heart.

I lean over the rail. A gust of wind pushes against my back giving me the nudge I need. Reflexively, I grip the rail tighter. If I die, it’ll be on my terms, damn it. I won’t let fate take this from me too.

The once great, thriving city that never sleeps slumbers beneath my feet. I close my eyes and pray. I ask for forgiveness, for some semblance of clarity. Something. Anything.

My phone rings and one hand slips from the railing. I flounder for a moment, and my heart lodges in my throat. I grip the railing with one hand, my back to the world below until the ringing stops. Carefully, I remove my phone from my pocket.

Unknown caller.

Figures. I swipe up to unlock my phone. A gust of wind blows across the deck. I stumble back, but the phone slips from my grip and falls. I watch in slow motion as my phone tumbles through the air and drops toward to the street below.

It’s a sign. It has to be. I take a deep breath. Maybe this isn’t the solution. Maybe I should give the new year a chance. How could things possibly get any worse?

“Hey, lady. What the hell are you doing?” A beam of light shines right in my eye.

My heart pounds in my throat. I jump and my hand slips, making me twist around in a blur. The whole world sinks into slow motion, just like my phone, as I fall back into the open space surrounding the Empire State Building. A scream tears from my throat as I grab for the railing, but it’s too late. It’s over. I’m falling.

I watch the beam of light grow smaller and smaller until it’s a pinprick in the distance. The lights of the Empire State Building create a halo overhead as I fall. This is better, falling backward. That way I don’t see what’s coming.

My mind accepts the inevitable. I’m on my way, Mom. Dad, I’ll see you soon. I stare into the heavens as I drift through the cold air, but surprisingly, I'm no longer cold. What a way to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Is it midnight yet? Does it matter?

Not anymore. I close my eyes and embrace the inevitable.

The impact I expected never comes. I wait for a moment, and it stretches into several moments. Did I survive the fall? No, this can’t be right.

I crack open one eye.

The sun rises over the bay casting the city in beautiful shades of red and orange. Huh? Maybe I imagined falling. I grip the railing and whip my head around in disbelief.

The observation deck is empty except for me. I check my pockets. Nope, my phone is definitely gone. I inhale deeply wondering if I somehow passed out last night and woke up from the nightmare which seemed so damn real.

The skyline spreads before me like a panoramic photograph. It’s gorgeous. Wait.

I blink twice before it hits me like a dump truck on the Washington Bridge.

“No, it can’t be.” I mutter before rubbing my eyes and looking again. But the scenery doesn’t change.

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