Page 28 of Evil Beautiful

Bronnie defied him and has been secretly visiting me over the last almost eight years. I’ve actually done all her tattoos, hidden tattoos because my father did not approve of them.

There were a lot of things he didn’t approve of.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered through dry and damned painful lips. “Where’s Gideon?”

My mother jerked upright and immediately leant over me. Her hand smoothing my hair away from my forehead. Something she used to do when I was sick or had trouble sleeping as a kid.

“Kellen, baby, you’re awake. Are you in pain? Do you want anything? Must I call the nurse?”

She would have kept going with the questions if my father hadn’t silenced her.

“You’re asking too many questions for him to answer, Bridget.” He said. “One question at a time would be better.”

“Are you in pain, Kell?” Brendan, my brother, asked from the other side of the bed. Bronnie had moved from the bottom of the bed and was standing close beside him.

I tried to shake my head but it hurt and I hissed in pain.

Everything ached. I definitely wasn’t going to try shaking my head again.

“Why are you here? Where’s Gideon?” I tried again.

My mother closed her eyes and they were filled with pain when she opened them again and looked at me.

“We were wrong, so very, very wrong, Kellen. Can you ever forgive us for what we did?” She took my hand and held it in both of hers while tears streaked down her cheeks.

I couldn’t have stopped the tears even if I tried.

I haven’t seen my parents and brother in years, and it’s been a damned long time since my father spoke to me.

When I came out to them as a confused seventeen year old my father had kicked me out. My mother had been the one to drive me to a shelter in Cape Town after he refused to have me in his home. He wouldn’t even let me stay the night. When she dropped me off she gave me money and a hug then left.

She had chosen her husband over her son.

I suppose that’s how it’s supposed to be in their world. I knew I would never do that to a child of mine. Not ever.

And suddenly I wondered if I would be able to have children after what was done to me. I had a hazy memory of talking to Gideon but for the life of me couldn’t remember if I was going to be okay or not.

“Mum, did he…did…did the bastard cut my balls off?” I got the question out in a rush.

My father and brother winced in sympathy and both shook their heads.

“No, baby, the doctors saved the testicle and are cautiously optimistic that you’ll recover completely. There was some surgery to your penis and they assured us you would recover completely.” She gave it to me straight.

She had always been that way. A straight talker. So was my father. And that’s why I made the mistake of telling them about my sexual preferences. I wanted to be straight with them.

I sighed in relief as I relaxed back onto the pillows. But I wasn’t relaxed for long.

My father chose the silence to apologise.

“Kellen, can you ever forgive me for being a bigoted ass? I put what people would think of us, of me, before my son. I’m so sorry for what I did to you and our family. Your mother hasn’t forgiven me for driving you away and neither have your brother and sister. And they are right to not forgive me. They shouldn’t. I have no idea how you survived on your own. And I shudder to think what you must have gone through.”

Tears were pouring from my mother’s eyes as he spoke and I lay watching both of them through the slits of my swollen eyes. I loved my father, I do, but he had a streak to him that was all about appearances and his sons being manly men like him. He worried about what people would think or say all the time. It used to drive us kids crazy.

There was one thing I could give him. How I survived in the dangerous world I had been dumped in at seventeen.

“I was in the shelter for about two weeks when I met my boss. I was drawing at the beachfront to make some money. She saw my work and invited me to come see her at her studio.” I grimaced remembering some of my not so good experiences.

“I had many invitations from men and women during those two weeks, some not so good ones. Lucky for me Pixie’s invitation was the real thing. I started working for her and friends of hers gave me a place to stay. They became my family. I made a career for myself and I’m really good at what I do.”

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