Page 17 of Dirty Deals

“I haven’t told him yet.” The guilt of keeping Nik away from his daughter, of denying Ava a father, gnawed at her. But she wasn’t ready yet. She couldn’t trust that Nik would do the right thing, that he would want to be part of Ava’s life. And if he did? Then she had to figure out how to build some kind of relationship with him for Ava’s sake. And that thought terrified her. Her attraction to him was stronger now than ever, but her relationship track record was abysmal. Did she want to risk that again?

“Why not? Don’t you think he deserves to know?”

“Why? He hasn’t been part of Ava’s life up to this point.” Her protest was half-hearted. She didn’t believe what she was saying. Why would Liz?

“That wasn’t his fault, was it? He didn’t know. You told me yourself that you had no way to contact him, to let him know about your pregnancy. You can’t blame him for things that were beyond both your control. What’s the real reason you haven’t told him?” Liz asked encouragingly.

Jules huffed out a resentful breath. “I’m scared. I’m scared he won’t believe that she’s his. We used protection, and he had no reason to think it didn’t work. What if he thinks I’m after his money?” The idea that Nik might believe her to be a gold digger made her ill, but that was the least of her fears.

After a long pause, Jules continued, confessing her true fears. “I’m scared he won’t want Ava. Worse, I’m scared he will want her. What if he tries to take her from me?”

And if he did? What then? He lived in Toronto, and he travelled all the time. Ava was at the age that she was asking about her father, but if she met Nik, and then he flaked on her, wouldn’t that be worse than never knowing him at all?

The alternative was even scarier. What if he fought her for custody? Nik was rich. He could afford the best lawyers. She would fight, but money mattered in these fights, and he had access to exponentially more than she did.

Liz was nodding, but Jules knew that didn’t mean Liz agreed with her. “Do you have any reason to believe Nik is the kind of man who would do any of those things? Or are you projecting your experiences with Michael onto Nik?”

Jules’s stomach flipped over. Did Liz really believe that? No. This was totally different. She wasn’t treating Nik like Michael. Was she? Her guilt grew. Was she being unfair to Nik because she didn’t trust any man after Michael? “I don’t know. I don’t know him well enough to know what he will do. We spent one anonymous night together almost five years ago. He’s been here for two days, and business has been our priority.”Except the kiss.“What have I learned? He’s financially brilliant and incredibly ruthless. If there is something he wants, he goes after it. Until last night, we haven’t talked about our personal lives. I shut that down the first day when he asked me out. I told him everything had to be strictly business while he was here.”

“How did he handle the rejection?” Liz asked cautiously.

“Like a professional. He accepted my refusal and has kept everything impersonal between us, until the auction last night.” The memory of the kiss burned in her brain—how good he’d tasted, how alive she’d felt.

“What changed last night? Did he know who Michael was?”

Jules shook her head. She was still grateful that Nik had recognized the signs of her impending panic attack and had stepped in, but her verbal brain dump after the fact had her cringing now. Why had she told him so much about her marriage?

“No, he saw that I was about to have a panic attack on stage. He said he had a close friend who suffered from them, so he knew what to watch for. He didn’t know why Michael was upsetting me, but he decided to step in and eliminate the problem. That’s what he does: sees a problem and makes it go away.”

And what if he decided she was a problem? Would he find a way to make her go away? If he didn’t want Ava, would he turn his back? Or offer her money to disappear from his life?Ugh. She was going to drive herself over the edge if she kept thinking like this.

“Spending one hundred thousand dollars to make a problem go away feels like a bit more than a business relationship to me.” The statement hung in the air.

“Nik can afford it. When I found out who he was, I looked him up. His estimated net worth is ... well, he can afford it.”

Nik’s wealth was intimidating. Michael had been wealthy, but not nearly to the extent Nik was. Jules had a good career and was able to provide a comfortable life for Ava, but the lifestyle Nik could afford was light-years from what she could provide.

Liz was shaking her head. “I’m sure he can afford it, but this feels like more than a simple act of charity. He did this for a reason. What happened after the auction?”

As Jules described Nik’s actions to Liz, she knew that Liz was right. Nik had acted far beyond what any business associate would have done for her. He had acted like a lover protecting what was his. Part of her, the part that needed her independence, that needed to be in control, resented that idea. But there was a tiny voice whispering that it would be nice to be taken care of, if only for a little while.

Liz raised an inquiring eyebrow. “You told him about Michael, and you kissed him. You don’t still believe it was just business.”

“Yes, OK, we’re attracted to each other,” Jules grumbled. “But how can I get involved with him without telling him about Ava? And how can I tell him about Ava when I don’t know what he will do?”

“The longer you wait to tell him, the harder it will be. I think if you tell him now, he might understand. You had no way to contact him, and his showing up was a shock. But if you wait much longer, it will look like you were intentionally deceiving him. He might not be able to forgive that.”

CHAPTER13

Jules sipped her drink and rehearsed the words to tell Nik he was Ava’s father. Her conversation with Liz had cemented her decision to tell Nik that very night, but now she was racked with anxiety. Doubts attacked her from all directions: Would he believe her? Would he care? Would he try to take Ava from her, or want nothing to do with her? Every reason she had for not telling him was clouding her mind, but in the end, telling him was the right thing to do.

The low rumble of voices from the entrance of the bar sent a shiver of awareness over her skin. No matter what she told herself, her attraction to Nik was undeniable. Everything about him communicated who he was: powerful, wealthy, confident. Nik’s aura of self-assurance was one of the things that had attracted her to him initially that night years earlier. It had been so different from Michael’s arrogance, which had been used to cover his own insecurities. Now it still sent the same thrill through her, making her pulse race and her palms grow damp. Wanting him was irrelevant. For Ava’s sake, she needed to build their relationship into something that would last. A quick fling was not in the cards.

Jules forced a tight smile as the server who escorted Nik to the booth took his drink order. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”

She tried to hide her nerves as Nik’s eyes roamed over her, taking in her tailored shirt and dark blazer. She had dressed like this was a business meeting, needing to feel like she was negotiating from a position of power. Jules didn’t want Nik getting the wrong idea about what she wanted from him. She didn’t know what she wanted, except for Ava to be protected. That was her number one goal.

“How could I say no? A beautiful woman asking me to meet her for drinks on Valentine’s Day?” Nik scanned the lounge, which was filled with couples who were clearly celebrating the day. “How were you able to arrange for a table tonight?”

---