Page 86 of Give Me a Reason

“You got it.” He pushes off the wall he’s been leaning against and gives us a wave before he disappears into the room with his brother.

Part of me wishes I could be a fly on that wall right now, but I don’t hang around to eavesdrop. Whatever they’re going to say to each other is between them, and besides, Isabella’s already on her phone, hailing our ride back to the shower.

When we get there, Emma comes over to give me a hug. “Are you okay? No, wait. Stupid question. Of course you’re not. We can blow this popsicle joint if you want to?”

“No, we’re staying.” I close my eyes and let her envelop me in her arms for as long as is socially acceptable without us having to field questions about why I’m so upset after. Once I take a step back, I paste another smile on my face and square my shoulders. “Now, ladies. The guys seem to be having a blast, and it’s about time we do too.”

Isabella arches a brow at me. “Really? You’re going to be able to do that today.”

I shrug. “Probably not, but you are. No one needs to worry about me, okay? For today, let’s just pretend that none of this happened. We’ve all been looking forward to the wedding festivities too much and too long to let this steal the thunder. So let’s just not let that happen.”

As if the universe itself agrees with me, Mia appears behind Emma with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “Our bus is here, girls. Let’s take this party on the road, shall we? Oh, Em? I’ve got a shot with your name on it waiting for you as soon as we get in. You look way too serious for a bride-to-be.”

Emma gives me an apologetic smile but follows Mia to the door and even lets out a whoop before glancing back at me. I give her a slight nod. The last thing I want is to ruin today for her, and I’m pretty sure I’ve already done that.

God, what was I thinking when I did that test this morning?I should’ve waited until tomorrow.

Deep down in my heart, I know I never would’ve been able to wait that long. As it is, I waited too long in hopes that Vincent would come home and so I wouldn’t have to go to work as soon as I got the news. Still, I wouldn’t blame Emma if she resents me for it once the excitement of the day is over.

Sighing as I try to gather the courage to climb on that bus with all the girls and the moms, I smile when I feel Isabella’s hand on my arm and hear her voice in my ear.

“Come on, Liv. I know this is hard, but I’m here for you, okay? We’ll stop at my place later, and I’ll grab some stuff. Then we’ll have ourselves a pajama-clad movie night tonight and every night while I’m staying with you. I’m going to be such a good roommate. You’re never going to want Vincent to move back.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” Not the part where she’s such a good roommate but that I’ll never want him to move back in.

I love him and I want him with me for all of this, but if he moves back in eventually—not that he’s even moved out yet—things will go back to being exactly how they were. And I want that. I just don’t want it to be a façade this time. I want to be real, and I won’t know that until the shit hits the fan and I get to see if he’ll be there this time. But I can’t allow myself to hope for that because, if he’s not, I’ll never recover. Not again.

And right now? I need to be stronger than I ever have before. I just don’t know if I can do that with Vincent by my side.

39

VINCENT

“What are you doing here?” Olivia asks, frowning as I get up from the low wall I’ve been waiting on in front of the doctor’s office.

“I’m showing up,” I say, sliding one of my hands into the front pocket of my jeans and motioning for her to precede me with the other. “Isabella told Emma about your appointment, Emma told Maxim, and after a bit of needling, Maxim told me.”

Her blue eyes are red-rimmed, and it doesn’t look like she’s been getting much sleep, but maybe I only think that because I’m projecting. I haven’t slept more than four hours since she told me on Saturday afternoon. It’s only been two nights, but still. I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight either.

“How are you feeling?” I ask when she doesn’t say anything, but at least that means she hasn’t told me to fuck off either.

She shrugs one shoulder, pausing to open the door before she glances back at me. “I’m okay. The nausea comes and goes. I haven’t been quite as exhausted since yesterday afternoon, so I think that’s a good sign, but I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch. It could all come back with a vengeance. Thanks for sending Maxim to pick up your stuff by the way.”

“Thanks for packing it for me, and you’re welcome. I know you asked me for space and time, and I know that by being here, I’m not giving it to you, but I’m trying to find a balance between showing up and giving you space.”

“I, uh…” She trails off. “I’m glad you’re here. Isabella offered to come and so did Emma, but the only person who should be here with me is you. Thank you for showing up even if I didn’t ask you to.”

“Can I take that as an invitation to keep doing it?” I ask hopefully, but she gives me a sad smile in return.

“Only for the doctor visits,” she says. “I told you that I wouldn’t keep you from the baby, and I guess that starts here. If you want to be involved, then I won’t stop you.”

“I want to be involved,” I tell her immediately. “Every step of the way, Liv. I was being serious when I said I didn’t want to miss anything else. Would it help if I told you again how sorry I am?”

“Nope, because I already know.” She stops walking to inspect the list of doctors with offices inside the building, then nods when she finds the medical suite we’re going to. “Distract me,” she says as she starts walking again. “Tell me how the rest of the party was on Saturday.”

“It was fine. Maxim assures me he enjoyed it, and if you saw what he looked like yesterday morning, you’d know he wasn’t just saying it. After he shoved a pineapple up my ass sideways both before and after you left, he relaxed and had fun with everyone else.”

“What do you mean he shoved a pineapple up your ass?”

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