Page 55 of A Kiss Of Lies

Now what?She turned her head to examine how best to free herself, but met his open, piercing emerald eyes. The sinfully black and enticing lashes gave him a sultry look. A look she could have done without.

A sleepy yet invigorated voice said, “Don’t go! This doesn’t have to end.”

“You know as well as I that it does.”

Christian flinched at her soft yet firm response. His heart beat erratically, his body tense. He was not quite sure what was happening to him. He sat up and stared out of the porthole at the Plymouth dock. Dawn was about to break. They’d arrived in England late last night, too late to disembark. He was pleased, for it gave him one more night with Sarah. It was an unforgettable night, a night he never wanted to end.

He should be thrilled at being able to walk on English soil at long last and confront his nemesis. He needed to work out who had defamed him and why he’d spent so many months in purgatory. But instead, all he could think about was the warm body lying in this bunk beside him.

She sat up beside him and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “The voyage home—that was our deal, you recall. We both know I cannot be Lily’s governess and your lover. You took on the role of Lily’s guardian. Her name is now linked with yours. Any scandal surrounding you will affect Lily. We must put her first.”

Deep down inside he knew Sarah was right. Yet he wanted to keep her, no matter what. Society be damned! He was a recluse as it was. Although he was an earl, the only women he’d find willing to marry him would certainly only be after his title and fortune. Having had a taste of pure, unselfish giving, he could no longer settle for less. Sarah gave herself to him for no other reason than that it was her heart’s desire. She wanted him—only him—scars and all. She had become his lover, expecting nothing from him but pleasure.

She deserved so much more than to spend her life as a governess. She was beautiful, witty, charming. But for the happenstance of her birth, she would have been a leader among the women of theton. Men would flock to her beauty, and the women to her kindness and generosity of spirit.

He looked over his shoulder. “You could marry me.” The words flowed from his mouth before he had the sense to understand what his declaration meant. She’d told him countless times she feared matrimony and the power it would give someone over her.

If he needed further proof of her selfless, giving nature, he had it. Her look of astonished expression faded to a gaze of guarded tenderness.

She shook her head. “If only I could!” was her anguished reply.

“There is nothing to stop you from marrying me.” He paused. “Unless you’d be embarrassed to be seen by my side.”

She flinched at his words and dropped her gaze to the rumpled bedsheets. “Don’t be ridiculous. I simply mean that an earl cannot marry his ward’s governess. It’s not done.” Her voice seemed strained.

“I’ve never been surer of anything.” He raised her chin with his finger and searched her face. “Sarah Cooper, for the first time in my life, I feel I’m seeing life clearly. I know that what we share is special. This type of . . . friendship doesn’t happen to everyone. I want to embrace it. Nothing is more important to me than you. Nothing!”

“You say that now, but once you are home, will you change your mind? You’re not thinking clearly. We have had a passionate few weeks. I’m not sure with which part of your anatomy is making this life-changing decision. Given time, you may find a woman of your own social standing more appropriate. I’d hate to see you trapped by your honor. I know you. Once your promise is given, you’ll not renege on it.”

He caressed her face with his fingertips, emotion choking him. “This is much more than a whim to me now, or even a matter of honor. I won’t want to renege.”

“I’m touched.” She placed his hand over her heart. “It’s enough that you would offer marriage, that you’d want me to be your wife, when I come to you with nothing of value.”

“I valueyou.”

She shook her head. “I’m a governess. You should be marrying a lady. Society will pity you and laugh behind your back, and I know what a proud man you are.”

“Who’s to know you’re a governess? I can say I met the delicious Mrs. Cooper in Canada. Nobody needs to learn I met you because you applied for a job in my household.” He grew a tad wary as her eyes flared with panic at this.

“But what if they find out I grew up in the Duke of Hastings’ household?”

“Being with you, sharing the last few weeks together, I’m positive there is more to your birth than you know.”

She gasped.

“Could it not be possible that you are, in fact, the Duke’s daughter?”

“Serena is gone.”

He pulled her into his arms. “I mean illegitimate daughter. Why else would a duke allow a gardener’s child to befriend his daughter? The Duke of Hastings is not known for his sentimental nature.”

She looked away and in a whisper said, “If that is the case, it would be even more inappropriate for you to offer marriage.”

“Not if I could persuade the Duke to recognize you.”

“No!” Her anguished cry startled him. She scrambled out of bed and began dressing. “Even if it were true, I could not do that to my mother, the woman who raised me. Perhaps once she dies I could think about it. . . .”

Puzzled, he tried to read her expression. She was hiding something. She was afraid of something. “This isn’t about being owned, is it? I had hoped that you’d learned to trust me and to know I’d never hurt you.”

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