He’d lost his temper. He’d used his fists.
She’d trusted a man who so easily resorted to violence.
What had happened to the gentleness she had seen in him? Just when she’d begun to trust him, to trust a man, he’d showed his true colors. He couldn’t even have a heated discussion without resorting to his fists.
Now she knew better. Christian had a furious temper, for he’d unleashed it on an unsuspecting friend.
What would he do to her if she ever crossed him? What would he do if he ever found out the truth about her?
To think she’d almost convinced herself to go to his bed.Fool! You know better than to trust any man, let alone an arrogant peer of the realm.
Instead of looking forward to her sea journey, she now dreaded it.
“I ought to take you outside and finish knocking some sense into you.” Sebastian looked disgusted.
Christian picked himself up and slumped into his chair, all the anger draining away, replaced by abject remorse. He inwardly kicked himself for having scared Sarah so. If he’d wanted to push her toward Sebastian, his performance tonight surely would have achieved that aim. He’d be lucky if she’d talk to him again, let alone board a ship with him.
“I saw you both on the beach,” he said dully. His newfound joy at life had now plummeted in defeat. How had he let his temper get the better of him? He’d prided himself on his judgment, which now lay in tatters, utterly impaired.
Sebastian had the grace to look embarrassed. “This afternoon? Is this what your temper tantrum was about? Idiot! Did I not give you my word?”
“You were naked. I saw you walking into the sea as Sarah came up from the cove. She was giggling. She looked satisfied and happy.” He shrugged his shoulders. “What was I to think?”
Sebastian sat down and threw up his arms in exasperation. “So without even talking to me first, that was enough for you to accuse me of breaking my word. My word!” He thumped the table, sending the cutlery rattling. “When I got back from town, all hot and sweaty, Margarita told me Lily had come back from the beach and had gone to rest, so I assumed Sarah was with her. I went for a swim, not realizing Sarah was still down at the cove. Once I arrived, decently clothed, Sarah left.”
Christian raised an eyebrow. “She was giggling.”
He gave a wry smile. “Well, I must admit I might have bestowed some fanciful prose on such a beautiful lady. It was an impulse. I can’t help myself.” He looked straight into Christian’s eyes and without wavering said, “But I gave you my word I’d not seduce her. Nothing of a sexual nature happened between Sarah and me.”
Christian leaned forward and lowered his head onto his hands, unable to face Sebastian. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. When I thought of Sarah with you, I went a little crazy. I’m sorry.”
Sebastian sat contemplating his friend in silence.
“Since the incident with Simon Penfold and his father, it would appear I’ve forgotten how to trust. I know that’s no excuse. I should have trusted you. I should have remembered my mother’s favorite saying: ‘Temper gets you into trouble, but pride keeps you there.’”
When Christian was little, he’d asked his mother why Father was always angry. The above saying had been her reply. It was much later before he’d really understood her words. His father’s butler had told him the late earl had killed his mother in a fit of jealousy, believing she’d dallied with Lord Danvers, their next-door neighbor. It was all in his father’s head, of course. His mother had never strayed from her marriage vows.
Perhaps Sarah would be better off staying in Jamaica.
Sebastian rose and walked around the table to pour him a drink. “It’s not only me you have to apologize to. Sarah appeared upset when she left. From what you have told me about her husband, your display of anger most likely frightened her.”
At the first test of loyalty, he had acted exactly like his father, falsely accusing Sebastian, his friend, a man whose word was his bond. He’d never felt so ashamed of his actions, nor so terrified. Since the war, he’d become bitter. Bitterness leads to anger, anger he had fought so hard to contain. He would not become consumed by his temper like his father.
He shot his friend a pleading look. “Can you offer any suggestions on how to fix this situation? Otherwise, you may find you have a house guest tomorrow. I bet Sarah is deciding if she’ll ever talk to me again, or, worse, if she’ll sail with me.”
“I assume your reason for leaving so soon was to get Sarah out of my clutches. As that is no longer necessary, perhaps you should revise your decision and stay a few more days and spend the time groveling at her feet. You need to show her you know how to conduct yourself as a gentleman.”
Christian shook his head. “No. Regardless of my childish jealousy, my rationale for leaving is sound. The longer I stay away, the more damage Barforte can do.” He drank the rest of the brandy before adding, “I need to get back to England and confront Harriet. If I face her, maybe she’ll recant her foul lies.”
For an instant he wondered why Sebastian looked relieved at his decision to leave. But he was too caught up in his own emotions to spend any time on the thought.
Sebastian nodded in agreement. “That was certainly Grayson’s impression. He gave me strict instructions to send you home immediately. I selfishly wanted you to stay awhile to ease my boredom. It would seem we both have apologies to offer each other. I shall miss you, even if you are acting like a possessive fool. This is why I avoid love.”
Christian looked sheepish. “When I get home I’ll help Hadley with your appeal. It’s the least I can do for making such an ass of myself.”
“I have to agree with your analysis about Barforte and the damage he’ll inflict. Harriet holds the key to all of this. However, I’m also worried that whoever killed Carla might also go after your witness. Harriet could be in danger.”
“Damn. You’re right. I’ve wasted too much time in Canada already. I can’t stay here any longer, even if I wanted to.”