Page 38 of A Kiss Of Lies

She looked deep into Christian’s eyes and saw only gentleness and understanding. Christian would be different. She knew going to bed with the Earl of Markham would likely be an experience she’d never want to forget.

But that was exactly what concerned her the most. At some point the affair would end and she’d have to forget.

An idea formed in her head. What if she controlled the end of the affair? She could stop their liaison before she fell in love with him.

A rush of confidence surged in her.

She’d do this for her.

And she’d do it for Christian too. Her inner voice told her he needed this as much as she did. They both needed to heal.

Sarah couldn’t get the words to form, so she merely bent down and pressed her lips to his. He tensed beneath her touch and she instantly pulled back, a puzzled expression on her face.

He gently cupped her cheek. “You merely surprised me. I was hoping that you’d trust me enough, but I know the courage it takes on your part to allow me this privilege. Thank you.”

“I know you won’t hurt me. But promise me you’ll go slowly.” She felt her bottom lip tremble. “I don’t know how brave I can be all at once.”

Christian stood, his body rubbing hers, sending shocks of warmth over her skin. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered. “I won’t take it too far tonight. Just say the word and I’ll stop. I’d never force you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing. You know that, don’t you?”

She rested her head on his chest and listened to his heart pounding steady and true under her ear. “I trust you,” she whispered.

She felt his body shudder in response. She felt him harden against her stomach, and for an instant fear returned and she wondered if she was doing the right thing.

He ran a hand over her back. “I can’t help my reaction to the feel of your body. But I promise you, tonight is only about your pleasure.”

To show her acquiescence, Sarah pulled back and shrugged the robe off her shoulders, letting it slide to the floor. She felt naked even though she still wore her shift.

Her arms rose and she wrapped her hands around his neck. He groaned and drew her close, until her sensitive breasts flattened against his solid chest. “I want you to introduce me to pleasure.” Her husky entreaty seemed to make him harden further. She heard him draw a sharp breath.

“I can’t imagine a task I’d enjoy more.”

When she raised her face to his, his breath fanned warmth against her mouth.

“Ichooseyou to be my lover, Christian, nothing more. I won’t become your mistress. This ends when we reach England. I shall take up my role as Lily’s governess and nothing must taint that. Any gossip and I leave.”

At this moment he’d promise her almost anything. Her enticing offer to become his lover was music to his ears. He would do nothing to destroy the honor she was bestowing on him.

She’d known passion with no other man. He’d make damn sure she became addicted to his kisses, to his touch, and then he would set out to win her. She would become his wife.

He hoped that once she grew in confidence, once she healed, she’d not look at the battle-scarred shell he was and think differently of him. What if she decided to look for a man who was more attractive? Deep down inside he constantly struggled with feelings of inadequacy.

No woman had ever freely given her body to him since he’d been burned. Was Sarah doing so because she thought she was damaged too? What would happen when she realized she wasn’t? Her scars were internal, and once mended she’d still be a beautiful, intoxicating, sensually experienced woman. Men would flock to her. He inwardly grimaced. As if they didn’t do that now; Sebastian was enticed with just one look.

Christian, however, would be forever burned and forever judged by his scars, except with Sarah. With Sarah in his arms, he’d completely forgotten about his burns.

She was watching him with fire blazing in her beautiful blue eyes. “I feel selfish. What about your pleasure?”

He lowered his mouth and gave her a chaste kiss. “I’ll anticipate how good it will be when you finally allow me inside your body, sweetheart.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and his heart skipped a beat in response. He took her mouth once more in a gentle kiss. Her arms slipped to his shoulders and she ran her hands down his back. Still kissing her, Christian lifted Sarah in his arms and turned to lay her gently upon the bed. As she lay there, he took his time to remove the rest of his clothes. She watched him hungrily.

“You’re beautiful too.”

“Thank you.” He took her hand and brought it to his lips. He stood next to the bed and stared down at her. A tiny flitter of fear sliced at his confidence.

He cleared his throat. “I’d like nothing more than to light the lamp and see you clearly. However, you might like less light. Should I draw the curtains?”

She vigorously shook her head. “I want to see that it’s you, know that it’s you.” She gave him a wicked smile and reached for him. “Besides, I’ve seen your burns, and I still think your body is magnificent.”

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