Page 94 of When love and Hate Collide

“JJ, please baby, I can’t take it anymore, now he’s there this is your chance, just end it with him already.”

“I will, I’ll call you after,” My heart beats that much harder when I hear Paxton’s footsteps approaching.

“Put something on, I don’t want that dickhead ogling what’s mine.” I shake my head and utter a bye just as the door opens, revealing Paxton.

“Hi.”

“Hey, I’ve been calling you, didn’t you hear me?” Paxton questions curiously, placing the white plastic bag in his left hand on the floor by the door. Paxton’s face is still bruised and swollen after the fight. My parents by some miracle managed to convince him to not press charges against Dean over the entire ordeal.

“I heard you, but I was on the phone with my sister.” I lie, tossing the phone on my bed and pulling my pink robe on, tying it up at the front. “What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting later?” Paxton smiles and walks over to me and brushes a kiss to my forehead.

“The day is almost over and you’re only just waking up? It’s passed two in the afternoon,” he points out and I shrug indifferently.

“Early stages of pregnancy can cause fatigue; I suppose I’m just more worn out than I realise and needed a lie in.” It’s really sickening me how easily I can lie to people now. I honestly hate myself more with every lie I’m forced to tell.

“I had an early brunch with my sister this morning. We discussed the interior of the new place, she had some pretty great ideas. I have some things I’d like to show you, which I think you’ll be very pleased with.” He claims, smiling while he pulls out a big bag of books and magazines for decorating and wedding planning.

My eyes grow wide in alarm as I take in each cover to the magazines and books strewn across my unmade bed. “Uhm, what is all this?” I question warily. Pax folds the bag and takes a seat on the bed.

“Well, firstly, I thought I would get a jump on redecorating my place so that it’s ready for you to move in. My sister designed the baby’s nursery, she suggested we go with more natural tones, which I think is a great idea.”

Hold on a damn minute. They designed my baby’s nursery without even consulting me? What the ever living fuck?

I shake my head while he continues to drone on and on about the colour scheme of the nursery.

“Whoa, Pax, whoa, whoa, let me stop you right there,” I hold my hand up scowling. “When did we decide I was moving in with you? Because I don’t recall us ever having that conversation. Also, we never discussed you telling your family about the baby. And why is your sister designing my child’s nursery and deciding on colours and themes without my knowledge or input?” I inquire, pacing the small floor space in front of my bed. Paxton watches me, placing the book down he gets up and touches my cheek affectionately.

“Darling, I thought you would be pleased. I mean, the last thing we want is for you to stress about unnecessary things in your condition.” Paxton justifies, grating on my nerves further. “I don’t want you stressing, we have it all under control.”

I scowl up at him and push his hand away from my face, “No, Paxton, this isn’t something you get to decide with your sister. I appreciate you trying to make my life easier, but I don’t need you to think and makes choices for me. I have a brain and a mouth that are both fully functioning.” I pick up a book about wedding planning and my stomach churns when my anxiety suddenly spikes. “Is your sister planning our wedding too? Because I thought we agreed to wait a year before we even discussed getting married.” I sputter, holding up the book.

“Jeyla, do you really want to wait a whole year or two to get married babe?” he asks, confusion evident on his handsome face.

“Yes!” I exclaim, “I told you; I want to focus on my studies while I can before the baby comes. I can’t get ready for the baby, study, and plan a wedding all at the same time. Besides, you’re not even divorced yet.” I don’t even know why I’m arguing with him like I’m not gearing myself up to break up with him.

“I will be, in a couple of months,” he assures me confidently like that makes a fart of a difference to me. “It’s all smooth sailing with the divorce, so it should take no more than two months at most.” Paxton adds watching me get up off the bed and frantically pace the room again.

“Pax, can… can you please just pack away the books, we need to talk.” Paxton nods and gathers the books off the bed and places them back into the bag he brought them in before he turns to face me.

“Okay, books are gone,” I stop mid-pace and look at him. “What do you want to talk about?” I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. “Where’s your ring?” Paxton asks when he notices my finger is bare. I look down at my hand fleetingly and then over at my dresser where I placed the ring back in its box two nights ago.

My stomach is physically hurting from the thought of breaking his heart, but I can’t put this off any longer because I’m worried about hurting him, if anything, dragging this out is making this worse. I walk over to the dresser and open the first drawer and take the little black velvet box out. I exhale slowly, ignoring the knots forming in my gut when I turn and walk over to him.

I hold out the box to him and he just looks at it blankly. My throat goes all dry while I stand still watching him, and he lifts his eyes to mine, those blue eyes glowing with interest.

“I think we may have been a little hasty with our decision to get back together.”

Paxton blinks and for a full five seconds doesn’t respond.

“What?” He stands and moves to take hold of my shoulders. “Jeyla, what on earth are you talking about? We both had a discussion and you agreed to give us another chance, and now you’re telling me that was a mistake? What’s brought this on all of a sudden?” he queries, “Are you getting cold feet or something because that’s okay.”

I shake my head slowly, stepping out of his hold. “No, Pax, it’s not just one thing, it’s a number of things. I agreed to give us another chance because I was feeling overwhelmed with the thought of going through the pregnancy and raising this baby on my own.”

“So, what are you trying to tell me here, Jeyla? That you suddenly changed your mind, and you don’t want to marry me now?” His tone is wounded, and I feel like I just kicked a defenceless little puppy in the gut. I bite the inside of my cheek, and as much as it hurts me, I nod.

“I don’t want to lie to you Pax, the baby’s father reached out and told me he wants to be a part of his baby’s life and wants us to try and make it work.”

Paxton frowns, “And what about you? Doyouwant to be with him?”

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