Page 84 of When love and Hate Collide

“Back door key, your mum still keeps the spare taped inside that ugly frog ornament.” He elucidates jadedly and takes a slow step toward me. The way my heart leaps into my throat has me retreating. “If you’re satisfied, it’s now my turn to ask questions.”

Oh, here we go.

“I know exactly what you’re going to ask, and I wouldn’t waste my breath if I were you.” I say, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him. Dean takes another step toward me and this time I don’t move, I raise my brow in defiance.

“JJ, you know better than to provoke me by now.” Dean warns lowly, staring into my eyes with such intensity that it momentarily cripples me.

“And you know better than to threaten me. I’m not one of your air-head bimbos that obediently yield to your every command,Lieutenant.” Dean licks his lips, his eyes narrowing menacingly. In a flash his hand curls around my throat, I’m not even able to suck in a breath before I’m being drawn to him until his forehead is pressed to mine.

“No? Would you like me to prove to you right now how quickly I can and will make you yield to me, baby girl?” That inconceivable sensation flares in the pit of my gut while I’m looking him in the eyes.

“Get your hand off me,” I tell him evenly. “I’m done taking part in whatever twisted game you think you’re playing here, Dean.” I bat his hand away and step away from him. “I’m not some plaything you can pick up and drop whenever you’re horny or bored. I’ve no doubt you have a line of girls at your disposal ready and willing to fall to their knees and worship you, but that’s not me, and it never will be.” I express to him austerely while we continue to glare at one another. “So go and get your jollies off with them and leave me the fuck alone.”

Dean rubs his jaw and nods, a cocky smirk stretches across his face, “What if I can’t?” He takes a large step, shrinking the space between us again. “What if they don’t get my jollies off the way you do?”

I roll my eyes, shaking my head in disbelief. This boy is so beyond frustrating I want to tear my hair out. “You’re unbelievable! Is that all you care about? Getting your fucking dick wet?!” I shout angrily, my temper flaring as I place my hands against his chest and shove him away from me. “In case it slipped your puny brain, I am carrying your child. Instead of focusing on who is going to service your cock the best, how about you explain where the fuck you were and why you couldn’t be bothered to make it to the midwife appointment this afternoon?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t make it, I was… busy.” I stare up at him utterly taken aback by his blasé response.

“Busy?” I intone almost inaudibly. “So, whatever you had to do was more important than attending our first appointment with me for our unborn baby?” I ask, narrowing my eyes. The anger inside me at boiling point. “The same unborn child you told me you were relieved we decided to keep and raise together? Are you fucking kidding me?!” Tears burn the back of my eyelids but I blink them away. “I knew I couldn’t trust you, I knew it. You’re already bailing out on me.”

“I’m not bailing out JJ, I just needed some time to—”

“Time to what, Dean?” I ask hotly, “We don’t have much time to figure this shit out. Whether we’re ready for it or not this baby is coming, and it will not wait around for you to get your shit together and neither will I!”

Dean scowls, his angry eyes searching mine. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” When I shake my head and turn back to him, Dean grabs my arm and turns me around so I’m facing him again. “Answer me!”

“It means I don’t have time nor the stomach for your bullshit excuses. It means you’re free to go off and pursue every fucking slut out there willing to spread her legs for you, because that seems to be all you care about, and I sure as shit am not having a child with a golden fuck-boy that can’t keep it in his trousers for more than five seconds.”

“I know you don’t think I was balls deep in some girl instead of being at that appointment with you. What the fuck do you take me for, JJ?”

“Weren’t you?”

“No!” he bellows, shoving a hand through his hair and muttering a string of expletives under his breath. “I wanted to be there.”

“Wanting isn’t good enough! You weren’t there, Dean, and if you can’t be bothered to make this child your priority or be there for appointments, how will I know if you’ll be there for the birth? Or all the shit that will follow afterwards? I only have the strength to raise one child, not two and I don’t see you growing up anytime soon to take on this responsibility with me.”

“Don’t give me that horseshit, like you’re so fucking perfect? Weren’t you the one in your ex-boyfriend’s arms a couple of hours ago? You’ve got the audacity to stand there accusing me of sleeping with other women when you’re off doing God only knows what with that prick!”

“First of all, what I do and who I do it with is none of your concern. I don’t give a hot pile of shit who you screw Dean, what I care about is the fact you didn’t even bother to acknowledge the message I sent you regarding a matter than concerns us both. You read the message and just ignored me, not an acknowledgement, didn’t even have the decency to tell me you weren’t coming. You left me sitting here waiting for you!”

Dean throws his hands up, “It wasoneappointment, JJ!One, you’re going on like I missed the birth or something, relax.”

“Don’t tell me to fucking relax! Also, once again you’re missing the point. It’s not about the appointment you dimwit, it’s your dependability that’s the issue!” I shout back furiously. “I need amanwho gives me his word that he will be there and means it. Not some adolescent boy who’ll be out chasing skirt and avoiding his responsibilities every other night.”

“You don’t know me as well as you seem to believe, JJ. I do not cower from my responsibilities, if I did, I assure you I wouldn’t be standing here.” Dean snarls, his hand that was wrapped around my throat moments ago is fisting by his side. “You’re not the only one that’s scared and overwhelmed. You decided not to take that pill and terminate, the power was all yours. If you were so certain that I wouldn’t step up, why did you change your mind?”

I lower my gaze to my feet and sigh. “I already told you the reason, but I should have listened to my gut when it was screaming at me that I was making a mistake by trusting you, and I would rather save myself a truckload of grief now than to jump into this with you and be constantly let down later along the road.” Dean watches me walk over to my wardrobe and moves over to me.

“So, what are you saying, JJ? You’re going to have the baby and raise it on your own without me in picture? Is that what you’re telling me?” The bite in his tone when he utters those words cut me someplace deep.

I shake my head and busy myself pretending to search through the pile of neatly folded clothes on the middle shelf. “No, no matter our differences you’re still the father of this baby and that’s not going to change. If you want to be a part of your baby’s life then that’s your right and I won’t stop you, but as far as we go...” the rest of the words just die on my lips, and I force out an exasperated breath.

Even though I’m facing away from him I sense Dean shift behind me, and every hair on my body stands while I dig my nails into my palm to mask the nervous pull when he steps closer.

“As far as we gowhat?” I stay quiet, gazing down at the plain pink t-shirt in my hands, electing my words carefully. Dean’s warm fingers curl around my upper arm and he spins me to face him. “As far as we go what, JJ?” he presses impatiently.

“Let’s not pretend that we’re both thrilled at the prospect of being forced together or are even capable of providing a happy home for this child, because we aren’t, Dean. I think it would be best for all of us if we keep all our communication to a minimum and focus our energy on co-parenting.”

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