Page 76 of When love and Hate Collide

One day I called him after hours and a woman answered. “Hi. I’m looking for Paxton?”

“He’s in the shower right now. Who is this?” she questions bleakly.

“I’m Jeyla. And you are?”

“Tasha.” I sigh in relief, my muscles that had bunched up with tension relaxed and I smiled, feeling foolish. Of course, his sister.

“Oh, right, you’re his sister.”

“Sister? No honey, I’m his wife.”

The devastation that crashed down over me in that moment when I heard those words was unlike anything I’d ever felt. I was left stunned like someone had just dumped a truckload of freezing iced water over my head. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

“Hello?” I hear her voice again. “Sorry, who are you—” I hung up the phone and for a while sat on the sofa in the living room, processing. I couldn’t even bring myself to cry from the absurdity of it all, not until a half an hour later when it all started to sink in. I was left completely distraught and humiliated for ever trusting him.

Looking back at it now, all the signs were there but I was too stupid and blinded by my feelings to see through the lies he told me. All the excuses he fed me about turning off his phone so he could work and not be distracted by the urge to call me, and why he couldn’t spend most nights with me or the reason he didn’t invite me to his place not once throughout our relationship.

I felt sick to my stomach with the thought of him going back home to his wife after being with me. That night, Ashlyn walked in and found me bawling my eyes out on the sofa.

When I told her he was married, she couldn’t believe it.

Paxton broke me, I cried for weeks on end, enduring my first ever heartbreak. I couldn’t face anyone, wasn’t sure how to cope with the constant ache in my chest. So, I holed myself up in my room, not talking to anyone and skipping my classes so I wouldn’t see him. Poor Ashlyn brought back my essays and notes so I wouldn’t fall behind in my studies. She was honestly my rock throughout the whole ordeal.

For the weeks that followed our break up he called me incessantly, sent an array of bouquets apologising, even showed up at our door begging Ashlyn to speak to me.

“She doesn’t want to see you.” Ashlyn scolded angrily trying to close the door. “Stop hounding her or I’ll call the police and have you arrested for harassment.” I stood by my bedroom door listening to him argue with Ashlyn.

“Ashlyn, please I love her. If she would just listen—”

“Listen to what? More lies and excuses? I think she’s had enough.” Ashlyn exclaimed hotly. “If you truly loved her like you claim you do, you wouldn’t have kept the fact that you’re married from her. You chose to string her along for two fucking years, you piece of shit.”

“I tried, so many times but I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. She can hide in there all she wants, but I’m not going to give up, I love her. You hear me, I love you!” he shouted so I could hear him. “I’m not going to give up on us, Jeyla!” Ashlyn told him to go fuck himself before slamming the door shut in his face.

I slid to the floor by my door and broke down in tears. I was hurting and had no outlet to vent my frustration, so I buried it and made a promise to myself that day to never let a boy wreck me the way he did. For two months, I avoided him like he was the plague, slipping into his lectures just as he was starting, taking my notes and ducking out before he got a chance to talk to me.

The week before our summer vacation I mustered up the strength to face him again. I sat in my usual seat and waited for the other students to leave. I saw the surprise on his face when he noticed me lingering. The room eventually emptied, so I slid out of my chair and slowly made my way over to him at the front of the lecture hall.

We stood still for a moment just looking at each other. I fought back the tears and was doing well in keeping my emotions in check and appearing headstrong. Wordlessly, I reached into the front pocket of my jeans and pulled out the engagement ring he gave me and placed it on the table behind him.

Those sorrowful blue eyes followed my hand and he swallowed hard when he saw the ring on the table.

“Jeyla...” he whispered, catching my hand when I turned to walk away. “Please, just give me a minute to explain.”

I pulled my hand out of his hold and shook my head. “No, there is nothing you can say that will ever make this okay.” I didn’t even spare him a glance before I walked away.

“Jeyla, please, I love you.” He called out after me. I halt very briefly, my heart quivering hearing those words from him. I shook my head, opened the door and walked out.

All the feelings I’ve tried so hard to bury for months come crashing down on me all at ones. Our entire relationship, the fights, the good times and the heartbreak all flashes before my minds eye as I stand looking into his eyes.

“Please, baby, let’s just talk,” Paxton whispers in my ear. I nod mutely not having the option to do much else. I wasn’t about to cause a scene with everyone around. I’ll hear him out and maybe then he’ll give up on us.

“Okay, let’s talk in my room.” I tell him and go to walk off with him when I hear Ashlyn call out for me

“Jey,” I stop and look back at her. We share a meaningful look and I nod, silently assuring her that I’ll be okay before I turn on my heel and walk to my house with my ex-boyfriend, ex-fiancé, former love of my life in tow.

Minutes later, I sink on to my bed and sigh wearily. I could really do without this right now. It seems like everything is piling on top of me all at once and I don’t know what to focus on first. Paxton walks in after me and sets my suitcase on the floor before he closes the door and moves over to me.

“Jeyla,” I keep my eyes cast down, fumbling with my fingers. “You’re not even going to look at me?” When I shake my head, Paxton reaches over and gently cups my cheek, lifting my head so I could meet his gaze.

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