Page 65 of When love and Hate Collide

“He was by the Coco bar getting a drink the last time I saw him.” I nod and make my way over to the beach bar in search of him.

How odd that I’ve come on holiday with my best friend and I’m spending more time with her brother and she’s off with my sister snorkelling. What the hell is happening? As soon I talk with Dean I’m going to put this thing between us to bed and focus on having the holiday I always dreamed of with my best friend.

Just like Oz said, Dean is at the bar all right. I stop dead in my tracks when I see him talking intimately and laughing with a girl. Just when I start to change my opinion of him, he goes and proves me right—he’s never going to change and we’re going to keep going around and around in the same vicious circle.

I want to scream and throw everything I can get my hands on at him until he understands how much he’s frustrating me. Every time I see him with another girl it hurts that little more.

While I’m standing there like an idiot, Dean looks up and our eyes lock across the bar. I press my molars together to keep the tears of anger that are threatening to fall at bay and while doing so I feel the last shred of credence I have left inside me crumble away. I’m wasting my time with him, he’s not even worth the energy I put into hating him anymore.

I’m done with whatever game we’ve been playing.

With a shake of my head, I turn and walk off. I barely get ten feet away when I hear his voice calling my name and then his hand firmly gripping my arm to stop me.

“What?” I ask, pulling my arm out of his hold and crossing them over my chest.

“What do you mean ‘what’? What was that look about back there?” Dean questions, his eyes searching mine.

I shake my head calmly, “Nothing, it doesn’t matter. Don’t keep your little fan club of girls waiting on my account.” I go to walk off again, but he grabs my wrist and tightens his hold so I can’t break free.

“JJ.”

I stare up at him and lick my lips slowly, “I came to find you hoping that we can actually talk without fighting about whatever the hell is going on between us. But every single time I start to believe that we can work past the issues we have, you do something to prove me wrong. It’s clear that things won’t change, and I’m honestly too damn tired to try and figure you out, so I give up.”

“You give up?” He intones, his dark brows knitting in bemusement. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

I pull my hand out of his grasp and look at the sand under my feet as I gather my thoughts and keep my emotions in check.

“It means I’m done fighting with you or trying to figure out what these mixed feelings are that I feel toward you. You’re not even worth the energy it takes for me to hate you.” I look up at him and shrug, “As far as I’m concerned Dean, from this moment on you don’t exist to me anymore and this silly little feud between us is over.”

We share one last look before I turn and walk off back to our sun loungers. This time he lets me leave, and that just confirms to me that I’m right.

“Hey kid, did you find him?” Oz asks when I slide onto my sun lounger.

“I did.”

“And?” Oz probes, pulling his shades down to look at me quizzically. I shake my head and relax into my sun lounger to soak up some of that afternoon sun.

“And nothing,” I sigh putting my shades on. “I’m done fighting with him.”

Oz fixes me with a wary look before he chuckles and shakes his head, pushing his sunglasses further up his nose. “You two are far from done Jeykins, but if right now that’s what you need to believe then fine, have at it.”

I am done.

I will not allow another deceitful, womanising arsehole into my heart to hurt me.

* * *

Later that evening I’m supposed to go out on a date with Julian, but I called and asked him if we could move the date to Wednesday as I’m still feeling rough after the travelling. The gentleman that he is agrees and says he will move things around so he can see me before his flight to New York the following day.

Now that’s what I consider a good man. Someone who has absolutely no qualms about moving his meetings around just so he can see you for a couple of hours. And then you’ve got immature boys like Dean who gambols from girl to girl just to get a fucking rise out of me.

There’s a reggae party down at the Coco beach club and that nausea I’ve been feeling all day finally subsides enough that I can start enjoying myself a little bit. I manage to catch a couple more hours of sleep after we all retire back to our rooms to shower before dinner.

“To Mexico baby!” Ashlyn toasts, holding up her piña colada served in a fresh pineapple. We all hold our cocktails up before we clink them together.

I’m swaying to the music while sipping my cocktail when Dean sidles up next to me. I don’t even acknowledge him and continue watching couples dancing. I ignore the pull in my stomach and the way his aftershave makes my head go faint.

“How long are you going to keep giving me the cold shoulder, JJ?” Dean says before he takes a sip from his beer, his eyes looking ahead.

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