Page 89 of The Devil Gets His Due

I tug him toward me for a kiss. “One hour. I’ll pretend I’m going into labor if I have to.”

“I’m honestly surprised you haven’t already played that card.”

I laugh to myself without mentioning where, exactly, I considered playing it.

The men are gathered near the grill and the women are standing by a long table spread with food, the exact kind of thing I never wanted to be a part of. Is this who I’m about to become? In a year or five, will I be saying things like,“it’s wine o’clock!”while spending summer afternoons talking about travel soccer?

Maybe.

The kids run across the yard, barefoot little idiots, yelping and laughing, and I know I’m going to want my daughter to be part of this. I’ve already changed so much about my life for this baby and standing here I realize…those were just the first steps of many.

I find Drew and Tali sitting off in a shaded corner with their slumbering babies.

“Look at you,” says Drew with a laugh. “Who’d have thought you’d wind upherelast January? I’m so relieved.”

I assume she’s talking about how I wound up with Graham rather than Six, but I don’t recall her ever suggesting Ishouldn’tbe with Six last winter.

“Relieved?”

“I heard an earful about that weekend from my husband, believe me,” she says. “But all’s well that ends well, right?”

They start talking about something called “Ferberizing”, which apparently involves letting your baby cry herself to sleep and which I already know I won’t be able to do, and then Tali weighs the benefits of a preschool where they teach Chinese versus one where they hang out in the woods and only play with“toys found in nature”.A year ago, I would not have been able to imagine a more boring conversation, but a year ago, I couldn’t imagine loving anyone so much more than I love myself.

I look across the lawn to Graham, who’s at the grill doctoring a burger for me. I’m pretty sure I now love two people way more than I love myself. He looks at his watch twice, which makes me laugh, and I cross the yard to him.

“You’ve got to stop checking the time,” I say near his ear.

He hands me a plate. “I have to leave for the airport in four hours, Keeley. And I don’t want to spend those hours talking about draft picks.”

Actually, neither do I. I can think of way better ways to spend it.

The two of us take our plates to the table and eat while we watch the kids running around on the lawn and parents dealing with babies. I’m starting to realize how demanding even one child can be. Any time Tali and Hayes’s baby needs something, there’s shuffling and a discussion and one of them rummaging through a diaper bag while the other holds the kid. Drew’s husband now has their son over his shoulder, because she needed a break.

“It helps,” I say quietly, “having a father around. It’s a lot to do on your own.”

It’s more subtle than saying, “I think you should stay with me for good, person I’ve only been coupled with for forty-eight hours.”

“That’s part of why I need to be in New York this week. I put my condo on the market a while ago. It goes to settlement on Tuesday.”

My jaw falls open. “Awhileago? How long is a while ago?”

He laughs to himself. “From the day of the ultrasound.”

I stare at him. “That wasmonthsago. How could you have kept it a secret that long?”

He holds my eye. “It made you feel safe, for a while, thinking I was leaving. Right?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

He’s right. If he’d told me he planned to stay, I’d have freaked out. I’d have geared up for a daily custody battle. I just can’t believe he sold his condo without anywhere else to go.

“But where would you have gone if all this hadn’t happened?”

He hitches a shoulder. “I’ve been looking for houses,” he says. He nods to the yard. “I know you love your apartment, but I want this for our kid. So, at the risk of freaking you out, I was kind of hoping I might convince you to come with me when I moved.”

I picture our daughter chasing after the ice cream man in bare feet. Biking home from a local pool with popsicle-stained lips. Walking to school every day. I love my apartment, and I love living in the city, but I think I might likethiseven more.

“I can’t tell if you’re okay or about to catch the first flight to Cabo because I’ve pushed you too far,” he says quietly.

---