Page 84 of The Devil Gets His Due

I callGemma because I need work advice. I’m also wondering what exactly I wasn’t invited to.

“Let’s get dinner,” she suggests. “Ben’s in Seattle tonight and I’m at loose ends.”

“You’re not…going to the family thing? In Newport?”

“There’s no family thing, as far as I know. Jean has her book club on Tuesday nights.”

“Maybe I misunderstood,” I say quietly.

Except it’sin writing. I didn’t misunderstand. He lied.

We meet at a restaurant between her office and mine. I order a salad to start and asparagus and chicken as an entrée, though I’d really prefer risotto.

“So what’s up with Mandy?” I ask.

Gemma shakes her head. “I can’t believe she dumped him. It was so sudden.”

I blink. “Shedumpedhim? The last I heard, Colin was just worried.”

Her brow furrows. “Oh, yeah, last night after Colin got home, they had a talk and she said she wanted him out.”

Why didn’t Graham tell me this? I mean, I realize that him not telling me isn’t the most important story, but still…why didn’t he tell me?

“Poor Colin. Is he upset?”

She nods. “Yeah, and I guess the last time he went through stuff with a girl he wound up in jail, so they’re all a little concerned.”

“Colin? In jail?”

She shrugs a shoulder. “He was eighteen. It’s not like it was last week. I’m surprised Graham hasn’t told you any of this.”

“He isn’t telling me anything, apparently,” I reply, my voice quieter than it was.

“What happened? You guys seemed to be getting along so well.”

I trail a finger over the condensation on my glass. “Weweregetting along. And then we slept together.”

“Wow,”she mouths. “I take it that went badly?”

“No,” I moan, pressing my face to my hands. “It was amazing. But, you know, I was the one who didn’t want anything and he’s respecting it, and now I kind of wish—”

“That he wouldn’t?”

I nod. I hate how it makes me sound. “I’m not trying to jerk him around. But you know how I am. Ileave. That’s just what I do.”

“With all due respect,” she says, “that’s absolute bullshit. You didn’t leave me, even when I refused to go out and only returned calls sporadically. You haven’t left your dick of a father or your awful stepmother, no matter how much they deserve it. You haven’t left your career, even though you work crazy hours and aren’t doing what you want. You’ve stuck with the things that mattered to you. And no offense, but most of the guys you’ve dated until now…deservedto be left. They were douches. What’s happening here is that you’re starting to believe all the shit Shannon has said about you, and do you really want to let the opinion of a woman who’s had a bone to pick since you were an infant be the one that sticks?”

I swallow. No. I don’t want anything Shannon has ever said to stick. “But what if she’s right?”

Gemma smiles. “Keeley, she just…isn’t. Trust me.”

“But what if Graham doesn’t want what I want?” I ask, and she laughs, and only stops when she sees I’m not laughing with her.

“Oh my God. You were serious?” she asks. “Since when areyouworried someone doesn’t want you?”

“I don’t know.” I guess it’s just the first time I’ve wanted someone back.

39

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