Page 21 of Ruined

He stops in front of me and places a hand on each of my shoulders. “You’re small, fast, and have quick reflexes. More importantly, you have a strong desire to live. Those things give you an edge over any opponent.”

“Oh,” I say, dropping my gaze to his chest. My eyes catch on a small tattoo over his left pec. Scrolled in beautiful calligraphy script is one word,live. I lift my hand and trace each letter. “It’s beautiful,” I whisper, covering the tattoo with my hand. I close my eyes, feeling the rapid beat of Kain’s heart against my palm.

Kain sucks in an audible breath, his body going rigid as he spins and nearly runs from the ring.

“We’re done for the day,” he calls, not looking back.

I slide out from under the ropes of the ring and stand beside Edward. “Why does he keep doing that?” I ask, shaking my head and unraveling the bindings from my hands.

“I think he believes he’ll scare you if you see how strongly he reacts to you, and not just physically.” Edward rubs his fingers along his chin, staring in the direction Kain stormed off.

I look at him, confused by his statement. “What do you mean?”

“There’s a darkness that lives inside all of us, Eden. For some, that darkness can easily be hidden away, nearly forgotten. For others, like Kain, that darkness needs to be fed or it will overwhelm them. Kain’s past has twisted something inside of him, something he’s tried to hide for so long. It’s that piece of himself he’s trying to hide from you now. I fear when he becomes worked up, as you just saw, that darkness takes over, and after everything you’ve been through, he’s terrified it’ll scare you. Kain doesn’t allow himself to care for others freely. Therefore, rejection, for him, is like a knife to the heart.”

I drop down on the bench, exhausted and confused.

“Don’t think too hard on it. He’ll come around and realize you’re stronger than you look,” Edward says, placing a kiss on the top of my head and following after Kain.

I gather my clothes from earlier and head upstairs towards my room. Reaching the top of the landing, I pass Lucifer, my head still in a daze from what happened with Kain only minutes ago.

“How was training?” he asks as I pass him.

“Confusing,” I reply because what else can I say? I’m really fucking confused.

Crouching low,I sweep my right leg out, catching Kain’s ankles and knocking him to the floor. I jump up, bouncing on the balls of my feet then raise my hands, ready for him to kick himself up from the floor and attack.

Lying on his back, his eyes closed, he drops his arms, stretching them out to the side. His chest rises and falls rapidly as he pants for breath. “We’re done for today,” he rasps. “You’ve sufficiently kicked my ass enough for one day.”

“I think I’m getting the hang of this now,” I say with a wide grin and reach a hand down for him to help him up. He takes my peace offering, and I haul him up. “What do you think?” I ask, running a towel over my face and chest, mopping up the sweat dripping down my body.

“I agree, you broke out of that hold in seconds. You’ve also gotten a lot stronger this last week. Your dedication to training is really paying off,” Kain says, walking beside me as we head towards the armory for our next lesson, blades.

It’s been a week since Kain started training me in self-defense. Since then, we’ve moved onto more intense fighting and close proximity weapons training, such as quarterstaffs. When I questioned why I needed to learn to fight with a stick, he replied with,even a broom can become a weapon if you know how to use it.

“It’s also very therapeutic,” I laugh, remembering my evening two nights ago when I spent hours punching the heavy weight bag, picturing the faces of the men who used me to fulfill their darkest fantasies. And of Virgil and Vincent, who made my life hell for nearly twenty years.

“I know that feeling,” Kain says so low I almost miss his remark. “How are the triggers? You don’t seem to be getting lost in the memories as easily, but I know how easily looks can be deceiving.”

“They’re getting better. In the beginning, I had to remind myself a lot that it was just you, and that you weren’t there to hurt me. Touch isn’t so much an issue anymore; I’ve become desensitized to it in a way thanks to the exercises Wyatt has me doing, but the positions can be triggering. When I feel the rise of panic, I tell myself that I’m prepared. I’m in control and I can handle it. I’m not the same person I was when I arrived on that bus months ago. I’ve changed. I’m stronger.”

Kain swings an arm over my shoulders and pulls me against his sweaty side. “You were never weak, sweetheart. You were always a badass in my book.”

Heat crawls across my chest and up my neck. I playfully push at Kain’s side, but he holds fast to my shoulder, keeping me tucked against him.

“How did your check-up with Wyatt go? You’re healing okay, we’re not putting too much strain on anything are we?”

“I honestly can’t remember a time I felt this good. I feel strong, healthy, resilient even—though I’m not sure how to describe that last one. I’m alive for the first time in a long time, and no matter what’s thrown at me, I know I can survive it. Mental, physically, emotional—nothing is going to tear me apart again.”

Kain’s grip on my shoulder tightens and he stops walking. He turns to look at me directly, the expression on his face serious. “While it thrills me to hear you say all that, I need to know what Wyatt said about your healing. Does he have concerns about your injuries and training?”

I inhale a large breath and let it out quickly. “He’s not exactly onboard with everything. However, he knows I’m not going to stop. All of the cuts and tears have closed, and nothing has reopened by anything we’ve done. My shoulder is a little tender, but it doesn’t hurt.”

“Eden,” Kain growls low, a warning we’re entering territory he doesn’t like.

“No, Kain,” I say and take a step back. “This is my choice. While Wyatt doesn’t fully support it, he does respect my decision. He understands how important this is for me. I’ve agreed to regular check-ins with him and promised that if I have an issue or pain beyond the normal discomfort that I’ll have you call him. I’m icing every day as directed and taking anti-inflammatory as prescribed. You’ll have to trust me, Kain.”

He eyes narrow as he studies me. Butterflies dance in my stomach and a tingling sensation skitters down my spine the longer he holds me in his grasp and drinks me in with his eyes. “Okay,” he finally whispers with a nod and pulls me in for a quick hug.

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