Page 5 of Hot Mess

Clair dropped her grip on the top band and looked at me like I was ten kinds of stupid. I guess I was when it came to fashion.

“Well, I guess you are just going to have to hold it then.” I could tell Clair did not like me.

“Why are you wearing panties? This thing is your underwear,” Jessie said, her voice loaded with annoyance.

“No one told me not to,” I tried not to whine. I was so completely out of my depth in Los Angeles. No this wasn’t LA; this was the valley. A distinction I didn’t understand. I thought the entirety of urban spread in this area was LA, but it was a bunch of different towns and cities. I couldn’t tell the difference, everything ran together.

I really wanted to go to this costume party. It was all Jessie and Gabe had been talking about ever since I had arrived. Uncle Dave didn’t seem to care much what his kids did. As long as we had fun. At least that’s all he said now that I was here. Jessie or Gabe would say, “We’re taking Kayla to the beach.” And he would say, “Okay, have fun.”

There was no discussion about personal safety. No commentary on what either of them were wearing. Jessie wore clothes that would have Mom’s eyes popping out of her head. When we got back to the house there was no debriefing interrogation of questions. My uncle didn’t care how much money we spent, or if we had fun. Or what exactly we did.

I was twenty-four and I didn’t know what to do with this level of personal freedom. But I was learning. The first thing was to wear a tank top and not worry about exposing my upper arms or cleavage to the eyes of others. I worried about exposure to the sun and wore plenty of sunscreen, but I didn’t even care if someone saw my bra strap.

I had been here a week, and now I was letting strangers help dress me for a Halloween party. Mom would have an aneurysm if she knew.

“What character am I going as again?”

“Ishtaria, from Lions of Medea. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen that show.” Clair glared at me.

I grimaced and bit the inside of my cheek. Slowly, I shook my head. If it had violence or adult themes Mom didn’t let me watch it.

She let out a heavy sigh. “Ishtaria was the love interest of the barbarian king, Mithrandes.”

“Oh my God, he’s so hot!” Another one of Jessie’s friends, Kiki, also crowded into the bathroom with us exclaimed. Kiki was standing on the rim of the tub so she could see herself in the mirror over our heads.

“I know. I’d bone Nick Sadler in a heartbeat.”

“I thought you said his name was Mithrandes. Who is Nick Sadler?” I asked.

“You don’t know who Nick Sadler is? He is only the hottest man in Hollywood right now.”

Jessie and her friends started laughing. They were laughing at me. I didn’t find it particularly funny.

Clair picked up her phone from the bathroom counter and held it out with a picture of a man. I assumed it was Nick Sadler in his costume for Mithandres. He had thick dark hair in spiral curls pulled back into several long braids down his back. His face was chiseled and handsome, even with the makeup around his eyes.

I nodded.

She pulled the phone back and swiped her finger over the screen before holding it back up for me to see.

I gulped. He was mostly naked with his broad chest and shoulders exposed. He was definitely attractive. “Yeah, I can see why you said he’s hot. What did Ishtaria look like?”

The next picture was of a waif of a girl. Slender and petite in a barely there drape of shimmering silver fabric. She had a drape of coins around her hips and a headdress of them in her hair. I looked nothing like her.

I understood why they felt the need to stuff me and my curves into a casing that squished me into a slightly smaller shape.

“If she looks like that, why did you pick this costume for me?” I was afraid I was going to be the butt of a big joke.

“It was the only plus-size costume they had left. You’ll be fine.”

I twisted so that I could look at my cousin.

“Stop looking at me with those hurt puppy dog eyes. I’m not about to make you look stupid. It’s not that kind of party.” Jessie rolled her eyes and smirked at me. The fact that she knew what I was thinking led me to believe she had considered it.

“I don’t have the right kind of bra for this.” The sturdy straps of my Maidenform eighteen-hour full figured underwear would ruin the effect of the costume.

Clair pulled a length of tape from a roll I hadn’t noticed. The counter was so cluttered with makeup and brushes and everything, there could have been a coffee maker and I wouldn’t have noticed it. “We’ve got you covered. Take your bra off.”

I must have turned as red as a very ripe tomato. “Um…”

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