Page 3 of Hot Mess

Carly stepped back. I got a good look at the costume in the mirror. It was the exact same thing I wore while filming, yet it somehow looked like a cheap knockoff.

My hair was now cropped short, and my beard was more of a faint shadow than actual growth. I ran my hand over my jaw.

“Hey, you’ll smear the makeup,” Carly chastised me. She had darkened my beard, making it look fuller, closer to what I had while filming.

I currently didn’t have a beard, and I had chopped off my hair for my current role. Mr. Squeaky clean himself, Captain Tony Peale, AKA Captain Wonder. The character was almost too wholesome to be believable. But he was popular in the comics, and Strategic Studios was counting on me and Captain Wonder to be their next box office success.

“Okay, are you ready for the wig?” Carly asked.

“Too bad you had to cut your hair off,” Isaac said, as Carly rotated the wig on her fists.

“It's the same wig I wore on the show. For the number of zeros on that contract, you would have cut your mother’s hair off,” I countered.

“So cynical.” Isaac jumped off the counter, still on his phone. “Speaking of contract, Rogers needs you in the studio next week to do some voice over work. I cleared you for Tuesday and Wednesday. So, no ice cream or dairy after tonight.”

Isaac had my back, and my vocal cords. As an assistant, he had been the best I ever encountered, and as a friend, he was the best. He knew that I loved creamy foods, but creamy foods created too much phlegm and coated my vocal cords. I wouldn’t have made the connection, eaten something creamy tonight and then shown up at the recording studio tomorrow morning constantly clearing my throat. Tuesday gave me two whole days to clear out my system.

“Duck,” Carly demanded.

I stooped down to her level and she began tugging the wig on. It fit like a snug cap.

“Hold on.” She turned and fussed with a costume element, and then began pinning, not exactly a headdress over the wig, but a combination of scarves and coins on chains.

“Okay, you’re set.”

I looked like a Halloween shop version of Mithrandes and not like I had just stepped off the set. Which was almost hysterical considering everything, including the wig had come from the set of Lions of Medea.

Sure, my hair had been long, but not long enough for the leader of the barbarian horde. The wig made my dark hair look like it was half-way down my back.

“You look perfectly barbaric,” Isaac quipped.

“That’s the point.”

“And everyone will recognize you. I mean if Nick Sadler shows up at a Halloween party dressed in his Mithandres costume, everyone is going to know it's Nick Sadler.”

Isaac and I tried to stare each other down.

“Oh for heaven's sake, Carly, tell him.”

“I’m not saying anything, Isaac. I’m only here to do makeup, not make judgement calls.”

“Well played Carly, well played,” I laughed.

I followed Isaac out of the bathroom, leaving Carly to pack up her tool kit.

“Look, I went to Comic Con for a full day before my panel. I took pictures with other Mithandres, and like a hundred Ishtarias, and no one recognized me. I feel like I could walk in wearing a Captain Wonder costume and still not get recognized.”

“I wouldn’t count on that. The studio released first look stills. Captain Wonder is already a very popular costume this year. Do me a favor, just don’t be an asshole if you get caught. You have to behave for Strategic Studios now. They expect you”— Isaac turned and poked his finger into my chest— “Nick Stadler is to be the embodiment of Captain Wonder. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

He stopped and preened in a full-length mirror at the bottom of the stairs.

“Yeah, don’t be an asshole in public, and don't punch out photographers.”

“Exactly. You have to be squeaky clean.”

By squeaky clean, Isaac meant no scandals. None. Until the Mithandres roll, I had been too unknown to garner the kind of attention that could result in a scandal. I had been in a bar fight or two over the years and had a scar along my jaw and on my knuckles as result. But no one cared about another unimportant actor getting into a drunken brawl. And that’s all I had been. I was a working actor and had been that for my entire career. I was making it in Hollywood on my own terms. The Mithandres role made me a star. And now that meant being an upright citizen just like Captain Tony Peale, because Captain Wonder was going to launch me into super stardom.

“Yeah, yeah, I don’t do any of that controversial stuff anyway,” I said. I worked; I invested my money. I kept myself away from that nonsense.

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