Page 71 of Hot Mess

I chewed on my breakfast sandwich and stared at Amber, making faces because I wanted to talk but couldn’t with food in my mouth. I swallowed and took a long drink of Diet coke.

“She wanted Nick. Before I ever met him, she and her friends would talk about how hot he was.”

“They aren’t wrong. The man is fine.”

“Oh my God, Amber.” I ground my fists into my eyes. I didn’t know what to do.

Everything was going wrong. “Do you have any idea how weird it is for me to know that half of the woman out there want to have sex with Nick Sadler, and I actually did. I made him cookies. I cooked him dinner.”

“So, it was serious?”

“For me it was. For him,” I shrugged. “I think I was just another in a long line of others.”

“Pfft. You got man troubles, welcome. You have officially joined the world of modern dating.”

“But it’s over. What am I supposed to do about Mom?”

“Your mom thinks you’re lying when you aren’t. That’s nothing new.”

“But it's wearing me out this time.”

“Are you about to start your period? You know how everything seems so much worse in those two days before Auntie Flow makes an appearance. Maybe that’s all that’s really getting you down. Go get some good chocolate and Midol, put your feet up and ride it out. You’ll feel better in a few days.”

I couldn’t breathe as realization slammed into me. I couldn’t remember the last time I had my period. Like seriously could not remember. I hadn’t bought a box of tampons my entire time in LA.

“Amber, I need to borrow more money.”

“Sure, how much?”

I shook my head. “How much is a pregnancy test?”

Amber lent me twenty bucks and dropped me off at the drugstore on her way to work. I bought the test and went to the library. I took the pregnancy test in the bathroom at the library. And then spent the rest of the day hiding in the stacks reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting.

I was tired, mentally and physically, hungry, and scared by the time I walked home in the late afternoon. I just wanted to get something to eat and then go hide under the covers in my room.

I opened the front door and the warm rich smells of Mom’s cooking hit me. Before I had a chance to say anything I was assaulted with an ear-piercing squeal and attacked as Jessie tackled me in a bear hug.

“Cousin, I was so worried about you! I had Daddy buy me a ticket so I could come check on you.”

30

NICK

“Hey, Nick. Nick!” Isaac grabbed my foot and shook me awake.

I rolled over and looked at my watch. “I don’t have to get up for another hour. Go away.”

“Get up, Nick. You aren’t going to like this.”

I sat up and glared at Isaac as he held out his phone to me.

I took it from him. “Fuck.”

I kept repeating, “fuck,” as I scrolled through the news feed. I was trending. I did not want to be trending, and definitely not for this.

The photos I had found at Kayla’s house— I would probably always think of it as her house— had been leaked to the entertainment press. Her bare breasts and my groping hands were the front blog posts on every gossip outlet. There were two different shots that had to have been taken seconds apart.

“Fuck. I ran my hand over my face. Do I have time for a shower?”

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