Page 59 of Hot Mess

I crawled back over her, kneeing her thighs apart. I positioned myself at her opening. She bucked trying to get me to slide inside. She was desperate and beautiful, and all mine.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at you. Savoring this. I’m going to miss you, so I’m memorizing everything about you. The noises you make, the way you pant when you are close. The way you taste. The way you feel.” I felt emotions course through my body as I gazed at her. “You are so beautiful.”

She held her arms out to me. I could resist her no more. I slid into her depths and pulled her to my chest. I needed to be in her, around her.

I let myself get lost in her body. She was all soft and sexy, and I couldn’t get enough of her. She sucked on my tongue as I drove into her. We rocked and pounded and thrust together. As much as I tried to crawl into her, she did the same with me. We became a single entity as best as any couple could.

Tension in my body built and grew. I didn’t want this to end. I should pause, shift gears, do anything to extend the time I had with her. But I also couldn’t stop if I had wanted to. There was only one way this ended, and Kayla was taking me there.

I was close, so close.

Kayla let go of my mouth and cried out. Her orgasm pulled mine from me. I roared as I released everything. She took my strength, my focus, my ability to keep going. I wanted her to have it. Everything I was at that moment was hers.

I held myself pressed to her, not wanting to leave her body, not wanting this to end.

She relaxed and I collapsed with her.

“Let me take care of this.” I rolled out the bed and took care of the condom.

A pounding on the trailer door caught my attention.

“Don’t go anywhere,” I told Kayla as I wrapped a towel around my hips before sliding the curtain to the bedroom closed.

“What?” I opened the door.

“Sorry.”

Some runner looked up at me sheepishly. “Mark changed your call time and wanted me to tell you.”

“Okay, what time?”

The kid kept staring at me.

“Look, you’re keeping me from my fiancée. What time?”

“They want you at seven, not nine. Hey, I didn’t realize she was your fiancée.”

“Well, she is now,” I slammed the door.

25

KAYLA

Two weeks later…

Isat curled up on my couch watching TV, eating a bowl of cheap instant ramen. I hadn’t felt like cooking. It didn’t seem worth it when it was just for me. I hadn’t seen Nick for almost two weeks. I couldn’t say the show he was filming was taking longer than usual, because this was the first time I had been around him while he was filming. I had no point of reference.

Maybe leaving him behind in Oregon and coming back to LA hadn’t been my smartest move. Maybe I should have sucked it up and stayed. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t been around jerks before who made underhanded comments about me before.

I’d heard it all. Wise cracks from having been homeschooled after my father died, to comments about how long my hair was, to my size and shape. Only for some reason, they seemed to hurt more. Now it was like the comments weren’t about me being the person of shape and size, but instead it felt like the comments and insults were secretly for Nick. How could he be interested in a person like me?

I didn’t have an answer for that. I thought Nick was a smart man. So why was I also wondering why he was with someone like me?

I hated that I was doubting him. I hated that the voices in my head really weren’t my own but coming in from the outside world.

I could hear Claire so clearly telling everyone she would bang Nick. And so, when I questioned what Nick could possibly see in me, it was with her voice. Hers, Gabe’s, Jessie’s, my mom’s, all those voices that I could identify and the one’s I couldn’t were too loud.

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