“So, you’re going?” Ludis breaks into my thoughts.
“Of course, I’m fucking going,” I snap. If he’s expecting me to bow out just because my damn wife spent the last few hours stumbling through a fucking forest, he’s wrong. “Tell the staff to get Aurora ready. She’ll need stylists… wardrobe people… I don’t fucking know; whatever the fuck women need for these things.” I wave a hand.
“She is going with you?” Ludis asks with wide eyes.
“The invitation includes a plus one,” I reply as I flip through the pages of another document. This conversation is beginning to pall.
“Sure, Boss,” he says, “but I thought you wanted to keep her away from all our business.”
Our business?
I level a look at him. “I don’t see how taking her to the Dinara party will be involving her in the business.”
“Yes, but—”
Is he fucking second-guessing me?
“Most guests bring their wives or mistresses along to the party. It is the only time men like us act in their best behavior,” I reply, keeping my temper in check. I’ve shown enough uncontrolled emotion for one day.
“I understand you, but I don’t think she is prepared for any of this yet,” Ludis says. I stop flipping through the documents.
“She has spent all her whole life preparing for this,” I reply as I lean back in my chair, waiting to see if Ludis has anything else to say.
Aurora is going with me to the party, and that’s final. It is time for everyone to know who she belongs to.
“Of course. You are right, Boss. It’s time for everyone to know the Italians are in bed with the Russians,” Ludis says. I don’t fail to notice his comment, but he doesn’t have to know that. Besides, that’s not the main reason I want to take her along. “I’ll make arrangements immediately. We only have a few hours.”
“Do whatever you have to,” I tell him. I wave a dismissive hand, and Ludis stands. I don’t bother saying more as he leaves my office.
Somehow, the room feels lighter without his presence in it, and I release a pent-up breath as I think of the long night ahead.
Like it or not, my world is changing. It’s the first time I’ll be attending an event like this with a partner who isn’t a casual fuck or a whore.
They will be watching now.
I have to be aware.
I tap my fingers on the top of the desk, and then find my attention wandering to how carefully I’ve guarded my privacy. Not just to keep prying eyes out of my life, but to protect myself from memories of that night. Memories that still leave me shaken.
Like the nightmares that have plagued me every fucking night since then.
I pause.
Not every night.
Last night, with Aurora in my arms, I slept like a young boy again. I frown at the realization. I can’t remember a time when the horror wasn’t right there with me.
“Could it be…?” I trail off with a frown, then give my head a sharp shake. I’m not fucking going there.
Focus, Ivanov!
I’ll drown myself in work before I allow myself to get lost in thoughts of her again. And years of discipline pay off, because when there’s a knock at my door and I glance at my watch, two hours have passed.
“Come in,” I call, and Ludis enters my office again.
“There’s a problem,” he says.
“What now?” Dammit, if he’s going to tell me about another fucked up shipment, heads will roll.