Page 58 of To Redeem an Earl

“I planned to talk with you when you returned last night. I wanted to apologize. Now I find I have more to apologize for.”

“Apologize?”

“I thought about what you said, and I realized you were right. I should have included you in what was happening. Instead, I treated you like a child.”

“More like a weak-minded female.”

“From the moment I overheard you on the terrace disparaging society, I knew you were strong and independent. I admire you greatly, and I have never thought of you as weak-minded. Only a fool would overlook your presence of mind and strength.”

She gazed at him, a smile of joy playing on her lips. “Thank you.”

“I should have told you about the note. Halmesbury told me I should tell you about the note. I was foolish to hide it from you, but it had nothing to do with my thoughts on you and everything to do with how I felt about myself. I was ashamed to have exposed my wife and my son because my selfish nature angered someone to this degree. And the note does not cast me in a favorable light.” He grimaced. “Not that I deserve to be cast that way.”

Sophia nodded. “I understand. I was on my way to find you and apologize, too.”

Richard felt his jaw drop in astonishment. “What could you have to apologize for?”

“My cousin Lily had the audacity to point out that I had been testing you rather than be honest myself. Most men in my life have been a source of disappointment. I agreed to marry you with the best of intentions, but proceeded to be cautious and guarded with you. I did not confront you, but rather stewed in my anger that I was proven correct. Lily asked me if I would prefer we complain together about how men are terrible, or for her to advise me to take control over my situation. She made fine points. You are not comparable to my father. Look at what you did on behalf of our household. You were present, and you acted. You asked me to be patient with you, but I was not.”

Sophia was flushed with the force of her opinions. She looked magnificent.

He coughed into his hand, unsure how to respond. “I cannot say I agree. Perhaps I need to understand more about your family history. I appreciate the thought you have put into … us, I guess.”

Her lips curved into a smile. “Thank you.”

Richard glanced down at the note in his hand. “Please do not think less of me.” He held the note out for her to take, then dropped his gaze down to stare at his hands. Working up his nerve, he finally said what had been in his heart for the past few days. “I have come to realize that marrying you was the most important decision I ever made. Sophia, I … I love you.”

Deep silence followed. He waited, but she had nothing to say.I made a mistake! I told her before she is ready!

More silence continued. Finally, he found the courage to look up and confront her reaction to his proclamation, but he found Sophia frozen, white as a sheet, staring at the note in her hand.

“What is—”

The door to the hall flung open, banging on the wall as Perry rushed into the room. “Brother! Lord Stanford gave me the name of the man who told him of your tryst! It is Cecil Hayward.”

“Cecil? I do not know any Cecil.”

“But you do know a Hayward.” Perry jerked his head in the direction of the woman sitting behind him. Richard’s brow furrowed, and he turned around to find his wife staring at him with wide, shocked eyes.

“The note … it is written in my brother’s hand. He has attempted to disguise it, but … Cecil … he is sly but not intelligent. Too many years of hard drink have addled his brain. He used his customary stroke through the o. The trouble plaguing your household … I brought this to your doorstep. This is all my fault!”

CHAPTER18

Sophia felt like she had exited her body and observed the events in the room unfolding from a distance.

From the moment she had taken the note, she ceased to hear or see anything but the handwriting on the page, realizing thatshehad been the cause of the danger. Richard could have been killed. Even Ethan was in danger because she selfishly sought safety in the Balfour household and inadvertently brought her troubles with her.

Richard blamed himself for everything that had happened since the day of the wedding. He was so certain he was the cause that Sophia never stopped to observe the patterns. The bully tactics of the caricatures. The alteration of facts that caused angry paramours and husbands to target Richard. Even the rock through the window of Richard’s study carried the mark of her brother’s hand, but she had failed to see it. Failed to inform Richard of the danger she represented.

She rushed back into her body with a crash. Her hand dropped the note, and she crumpled over in anguish, sorrow and regret coalescing to slash through her soul. Emitting a wail of deep despair, she dissolved into a blubbering mess. Richard’s arms engulfed her, but she tried to wrench herself away. She did not deserve his solace because she had risked everything the man held dear to protect herself. And she had not even warned him of the danger.

Sophia had underestimated how vindictive her brother could be.

* * *

Richard gatheredSophia into his arms. She tried to pull away, but he was not having it. He hugged her closer, attempting to soothe her. It was devastating to see her anguish, his strong woman, who brought peace into his household, reduced to heaving sobs.

“Calm yourself, Sophia.”

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