Page 53 of To Redeem an Earl

“No … it is not true. I merely care about him …” Sophia squeezed her eyes shut in agony. Her cousin was correct. She did love her stupid husband. It had been inevitable from the moment he had expressed his desire and will to change. When he stated his admiration and admitted how she had inspired his crusade to redeem his honor, she was smitten with the daft man.

She admired his courage and his drive; and she appreciated his fine looks and his sense of humor. He made her feel safe when she had never allowed herself to rely on anyone because of the havoc her parents had wreaked on their lives. And his affection for his son, whom he acknowledged without hesitation despite the scandal it brought into his life, was commendable. Richard accepted the mantle of responsibility without complaint, and even now worked tirelessly to find a solution to their troubles.

And he does not trust you to assist him.

It saddened Sophia that he would not accept her help, but she admitted her cousin had made a good point earlier that day. She must accept his help if she expected him to do the same. They needed to engage in a proper discussion.

Lily prodded a sharp elbow into her side, causing Sophia to yelp in pain. “But enough about you and your woolgathering. I have a problem of my own.”

“You shame me, cousin. I have forced my problems on you for days now.”

“Do not be ridiculous. There was no force. But this is about me, so are you ready to stay silent and listen to my troubles?”

Sophia gave a nod. Lily settled deeper into the sofa and sighed. “Mama is relentless. Now that you are married, she has turned her full attentions to me. If she had her way, I will be married to a gentleman I barely know by the end of the week. I am not strong like you, Sophia!”

“Stuff and nonsense!”

Lily wrinkled her nose to stare up at Sophia, who felt like a veritable giant towering over her delicate cousin.

“Do not be daft. You just doled out advice to me throughout the day. You forced me to go confront Richard about the note and just persuaded me I was in love with the man, despite my resistance to the news. You have plenty of backbone.”

“But … I want to find a genuine connection with a man. I do not wish to be pressured into marriage, but I do not know how to stand up to Mama without hurting her feelings. She wants what is best for me, but her ideas are old-fashioned and too rooted in society’s expectations.”

“Uncle Hugh will never force you to marry a man you do not want. Just stay strong and wait for the right gentleman.”

“I am not as wily as you, cousin. She will get the best of me.”

“This is a silly conversation. Lily, you are just as clever as I am. Just prepare yourself to contend with her demands. Think of what her arguments are and prepare counter-arguments. When dealing with Aunt Christiana, I usually find that distraction is the best technique. You have observed me doing just that for three Seasons. Lord Francis Bacon once wrote that knowledge is power. You must use your knowledge of Aunt Christiana, but do not engage in direct debate with her because it invariably does not work.”

Lily’s mouth hung open in astonishment. “How did you discover all this?”

“I read a book by a Chinese general that was translated into French. Would you like me to find it for you?” Sophia gestured toward the annex behind them where the shelving was laden with heavy tomes.

Lily nodded, an expression of awe on her face as Sophia scrambled to her feet to search for the volume. “You were applying military tactics to my mother? You are such a bluestocking, cousin.”

“Nay, I study what I need to know. I am not interested in study for study’s sake. I must have a question to answer before I will plow through these sedate books. I foundL’Art de la Guerrein my first Season when the pressure to marry was causing me distress.” Sophia looked back to find her cousin’s face pinched into a puzzled frown. “It meansThe Art of War, Lily. You will need to brush up on your French if you wish to employ military strategy, but your instincts are excellent. I will find a dictionary to assist you.”

She mounted the library steps to pull leather-bound books from the shelves, then set them on the table for her cousin to read.

Shortly after that, they said their goodbyes. Sophia stood outside near to the family carriage that had brought her from Balfour Terrace. She hesitated on the steps of the Morelands’ home and stared at the Saunton coat of arms gilded on the carriage door, thinking about the current state of her relationship with Richard.

Lily was right. It was time to make an effort at a proper discussion. She needed to stop playing games and tackle their issues directly. This was a marriage they were building, and it would not do to use wily misdirection and military tactics with her husband, or pose tests without his knowledge.

Sophia hovered on the steps in a state of bemusement, hugging herself in the chilled night air. She admitted to herself that she had brought the accumulated disappointments of her past and laid them at Richard’s feet while he struggled to protect her and his son. Every time her charming father had made a promise—only to break it when he disappeared for days into his gambling hells to fetter away their income—in those reoccurring moments, she had realized she could not trust her beloved father, and that his words were empty of intent. Those final days, she had decided to grow up far too young and accept that he was irresponsible and would never change. And then came the night they were informed of his untimely death while sitting at a card table. All had taken residence in her mind, taunting her, challenging her to devise tests to disprove Richard’s sincerity.

“Milady?”

Her husband was mostly blameless. He was ashamed that his past was haunting their present and had withheld some information to protect his pride and ease her worries, and in return, she had set him a test without his knowledge to prove to herself that he would fail.

“Milady?”

Sophia chewed on her lip, lost deep in the memories. She had not intended to compare her husband to her glib father, but she had done it all the same. It was not well done of her; the earl did not know what—or whom—he was being measured against, which meant Lily was right. She was being dishonest with him.

“Milady?”

Sophia returned to the present to find her footman gazing at her with perplexed concern. She realized the liveried servant had attempted to gain her attention several times.

“I wish to return home. To Balfour Terrace.”

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