Page 111 of The Book of Kings

Led by the most feral instinct, I almost jumped over the ledge to catch her.

For a second, I didn’t know if I was dead or alive. But then I looked at my hand and it had somehow managed to grab hers.

‘Hold on to me.’ I roared, as all senses of survival were kicking in. I needed her to live, and for the first time in a very long time,Iwanted to live.

I had to fight. All my forces were focusing on bringing her back into my arms. But the wet frost she had on her hands was making her slip away from my grip and I found myself seconds away from losing her.

I couldn’t let go. Everything in this world was tying us together in ways so strong that nothing would tear us apart. Performing my own miracle, I managed to grab her wrist, locking onto it so tightly that not even the devil himselfcould have made her part from my grasp.

With the last of my powers, I pulled her back from over the railing, capturing her in my arms to feel her again close to my heart. ‘Bea!... Bea, look at me,’ I demanded, although she seemed deaf to my calling.

If my voice couldn’t bring her back to me then I needed to try awakening her with the touch of my lips. I rested my mouth on top of her head, then slowly descended to find her own to comfort.

But she didn’t want me there. She just buried her head deep against my chest as the trembling of her body was getting so loud that it was spilling into heart-wrenching sobs.

‘I’m so sorry. It’s okay. I promise you it’s going to be okay,’ I needed to let her know that I was beside her for whatever was to come. She was above all my demons, and I would never allow them to get in our way again. I just wasn’t sure how to explain it to her. The words weren’t exactly coming easily to me. Maybe because we didn’t even need words. The loud beating of our hearts was enough.

‘Let me take you inside.’ I lifted her from the ground to carry her to my bedroom.

‘I don’t want to go inside.’ She seemed so weakened yet so determined to remain out in the cold.

I was recognizing my mistakes, but deep down I didn’t ever consider that she would matter that much to me. I guessed that’s why I allowed myself to make so many of them. ‘I don’t know what to do. Tell me where I should go.’ I wasn’t asking her to name a place,but a path where we should walk together. ‘I feel I’m cursed to destroy everything I touch. And I almost did it tonight, with you.’

‘Then stop. Stop living in the past. I can’t keep bringing you back all the time. I’m too afraid of the day I’ll fail. Stay... with me. Don’t go running or hiding in dark corners. It’s safe to share your pain. I’m one of the few people that understand it.’ Her words were soaked in tears as she was placing her last hopes inus.

‘I see them die... And every time a part of me dies with them, slowly but eventually culminating into a certain road to destruction.’ I was telling her the deepest burden that clouded my soul. I never talked about my parents with anyone, not even with Alfred, but I always felt I needed to do it with her.

‘But they wouldn’t want you to die, would they? They wanted you to live. So why fail them? Just because it would be easier?’ She was trying to put some sense into me. I knew that. And I also knew she was as close as a person could be to understanding my pain.

‘Nothing is easy in my life. Look at what I’ve done to you.’ I somehow let a tear fall against the exposed skin of her arm. I could say I’ve shocked myself because no matter what I’ve been through I never remember crying.

I guess she noticed the wandering tear as her gaze softened and her voice gained a warmth meant to soothe me. ‘Then stop. It’s that easy.’

It wasn’t easy. It was complicated as fuck, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to succeed.

For the first time I saw light, and it was calling me back to her lips.

Chapter 26

We didn’t leave the balcony for what felt like many hours to come. I couldn’t tell time any longer. But what I knew for sure was I wanted her to remain forever melted against my chest the way she was in those ephemeral moments.

Despite my desires, I needed to ask, ‘Aren’t you cold?’ The temperature was well below freezing outside and I knew she wasn’t shivering just because of the effects of what had just happened.

‘I want to stay here.’ Her lips brushed against mine, luring me to make them my pray again in a game of seducing her back to me. I was taking every necessary step to ensure myself of that.

Taking her by surprise, I raised her on my waist. ‘Your feet are freezing.’ Sure I was posing as Prince Charming, but I had to admit I did have an ulterior reason for my actions. I needed her to feel the warmth of my body. Maybe that way she would realize that from there on in, I would burn only for her.

My quest for forgiveness began with her lips, kissing her way back to me as I could feel my veins pulse in the need of her.

I could feel she still didn’t want to leave the balcony, but I needed to take all measures to protect the one I have irremediably hurt.

Except for my fingers digging into her flesh setting it to combust into flames, she was cold, hanging onto me like I was the last spark of fire on earth. We couldn’t be out there for long and deciding for the both of us, I began walking back to the room with her still wrapped around my hips.

It seemed to be the wrong decision since she still wasn’t ready to leave the balcony. ‘Don’t... Please.’

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she considered she finally found the real me there. There was no doubt that she was entitled to feel that way, but her newly discovered version of Ferris was coming along wherever she may go — whether it would be my bed or the top of the world.

I wasn’t going to make her suffer in any way, so after walking into my bedroom to snatch a blanket, I returned, carrying her back to the balcony.

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