Page 6 of Indirect Attack
“No, keep going,” I managed.
For a moment, I thought he wouldn’t. But then he did, and then he was inside, past the pain. It took a few moments for us to find a comfortable position—it wasn’t anything like the movies of instant, mind-numbing passion. But then Ben was moving inside of me, slowly in and out, and the motions dragging across my nerves began to create pricks of a pleasure I’d never felt before.
“Are you okay?” Ben’s eyebrows were still beetled, even as he continued to move.
“Yeah, fine,” I breathed, wriggling my hips to an even better position. It seemed to be better for Ben, too, because he gasped, his eyes closing for a moment. “How about you?”
“Good.” The words came out as a breathy murmur, and I giggled.
We both began to relax as the moment continued, and the more I relaxed, the more the pleasure grew. My hips began to rock with Ben as he pushed in and out, new feelings and sensations building on top of one another until we were both panting and moaning.
Ben dipped his head and captured my mouth with his, our tongues swirling together as I wrapped my arms around his neck to bring him even closer. His muscles were tense and tight beneath my arms, moving beneath his skin, his breath hot against my neck.
I could feel the pleasure, pressure in my pelvis growing as Ben’s movements grew faster, faster, my breath matching his, my moans turning to cries of his name. The waves that moved from my head to my toes and back were more than I could haveimagined. Every nerve was firing, every sensation from the quilt beneath my back to Ben’s heartbeat to the numerous ways in which we touched increased a thousand-fold. The simple feel of the blanket sent shivers of pleasure rippling across my skin.
The pressure grew steadily, pleasure spiraling outward until I felt a tightening at my core. My toes curled, my breath coming in rapid gasps to match Ben’s. And then my orgasm crested and crashed, almost without warning, wrenching a sound from me I’d never made in my life.
The world disappeared into a flash of light that burned my thoughts to nothing—I was pleasure and nothing more. Dimly, I still felt Ben moving above me until he cried out, too, the sound echoing as I felt him pulsing deep within me.
He cradled me as I slowly came back down, neither of us able to speak or do much of anything besides bask in the afterglow. And then we both began to laugh, cascades of giggles, as we delighted in each other.
Chapter 3
Ben
THE FIRST THING I HEARDwas the trilling of a bird outside the window. I was used to waking up with the sunrise—or earlier—but morning sunlight streamed in the window, lighting the room with a soft glow.
But it wasn’t my room, and it wasn’t my window.
I pulled myself up through the last wisps of clinging drowsiness—I hadn’t slept so deeply for a long time, and my mind was still stuck in the darkness. Slowly, though, memories of the previous night came back to me as I blinked my eyes open fully.
Memories of soft skin and soft kisses, of whispered words and sighs and gasps of delight. Of exploration and cries of my name and an explosion of pleasure the likes of which I’d never felt before.
Jasmine was cuddled against me, her hair streaming over the pillow and my arms that were wrapped around her. I could feel her breathing against me, the slow rise and fall of her back against my chest and stomach, and when I risked raising my head, her face was softly relaxed in sleep.
I’d seen Jasmine sleeping a few times growing up—when we’d fallen asleep watching movies, or after a house party whenI’d crashed on her couch, or looking at the stars from her roof. But I’d never seen her looking so peaceful.
Or so beautiful.
A feeling was rising in me, an odd kind of protectiveness that came with the knowledge that we both had feelings for one another and that what we had shared the previous night had been extraordinary.
But I had to go back to the desert tomorrow, and Jasmine had to go back to college. We had created something between us, but I knew it couldn’t last. As much as I didn’t want to let Jasmine go, and as much as I was glad for this experience, this had to be it. I had friends who had tried to have long-distance relationships in the military, including my brothers, and it never worked out. The long months, even years, away were too much—there was too much strain, too much loneliness, too much being apart.
It was best just to let this moment be. A moment I would take back with me, a light in the darkness of wherever I was, in my lonely hours or the most harrowing moments. I didn’t want to taint that with whatever might happen in the future if we tried to make this work and failed.
Carefully, as carefully as possible, I slipped my arm out from beneath Jasmine, trying to slide out of bed without waking her up. But I heard a soft intake of breath as I pulled away and froze as she lifted her head and looked over her shoulder at me.
Still clouded with sleep, her eyes focused on me. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to get going,” I said, the only words that would come to mind.
Jasmine’s dark eyebrows drew in with confusion. “Why? I thought you said you weren’t doing anything today.”
For a moment, I didn’t have the words to say to her. Rather, I knew what I had to say, but I didn’t want to say them. I didn’twant to see the expression of hurt on her face or see the tears. It would be too difficult to do what I knew needed to be done, to make a clean break and worry about the pieces of my heart later.
But Jasmine and I had known each other for too long. Hearing something in my silence, seeing something in my face, she sat up, drawing the sheets around her like armor, facing me with her eyes large and worried.
“You’re leaving.”
