Page 5 of Indirect Attack
“Do you know what’s going on?” he asked again as I craned my head back and to the side so I could see him. “I haven’t been paying attention.”
“Neither have I,” I admitted.
Our gazes met and held, and something crackled between us, an attraction and an unfamiliar feeling that made my heart flip in my chest before it began skittering in a fast beat.
I couldn’t take my eyes away from Ben’s, at the way something swirled in them I hadn’t seen before, but I thought I could identify—attraction and desire. My breath hitched, the shiver running from my head to my toes and back again before it crawled over my scalp. Then the feeling settled further down, down between my thighs to become a gentle beat.
Ben’s nostrils flared as he breathed in, almost as though he could sense the change in my body. His head bent, closer, closer, until our lips met again. Just as softly as before, but more insistent this time, more assured.
My eyes drifted closed as I took in every sensation of Ben’s lips against mine, his body pressed to mine, the way his tongue slipped into my mouth and swept against mine.
The beat between my legs became a throbbing warmth that swirled up through my body until I grasped at Ben’s arms and pushed myself closer. I couldn’t seem to get enough of him or close enough to him.
But then he pulled away, and a soft, involuntary whimper left my throat. Ben searched my face for a long moment, but I could only focus on his lips and how badly I wanted them to kiss me again.
“Jasmine—” he started, stopped, then took a deep breath, “—are you sure?”
I swallowed, not sure but entirely sure at the same time. Instead of answering, I asked, “Have you ever done this before?”
He shook his head. “Have you?”
I shook my head, and our gazes met again in another long pause.
“—but I want to,” I added softly, hoping he did, too.
Ben pushed himself off the couch without warning, and I jumped up, afraid I’d said or done something wrong. Had I been too forward? But before I could say a word, Ben swept me into his arms.
“What are you doing?” I managed to get out between trills of surprised giggles.
“Isn’t this what you’re supposed to do?” From the expression on his face, Ben was only half teasing, and I continued to giggle as he moved us up the stairs, half thrilled he was strong enough to carry me like this. I’d ridden piggyback before, or on his shoulders playing a game of chicken at the lake with our friends, but I’d never known he could do this.
It was entirely sexy.
When he let me down, however, I held up a finger. “Hold on.”
I scurried as fast as possible to my parents’ room, digging into the drawer where I’d seen condoms while searching for my mom’s spare change. Hoping my parents wouldn’t notice afew missing, I ran back to the room, trusting that Ben hadn’t changed his mind in my absence.
He hadn’t, and I stopped short when I ran into my room to find him stripped down to his boxer shorts. My cheeks grew immediately hot as I took him in—the long arms, muscled and ropey with definition, the well-defined chest, the washboard abs, and the V of his pelvis that led down to a very prominent bulge. It was insanely hot, and I wanted him more at that moment than I’d ever wanted anyone before.
“Is this okay?” Ben asked. He looked uncertain, like he was deciding between stripping down and covering up again.
“Yes,” I managed to squeak between the awkwardness that left a blush on my cheeks and the sudden wave of desire that made it difficult to breathe.
We fumbled the rest of the way through the overture, both aware of where we were headed, both anxious, unsure, and self-conscious. Then we were undressed and standing in front of each other.
“Now what?”
I hadn’t meant the words to sound so inane or even come out, and Ben chuckled. “I think now we”—he paused—“do it.”
It was my turn to giggle, both from the ridiculousness of his words and from nerves. But it broke the tension, and Ben led me gently to my bed. I lay back, and he followed me.
The moment was sappy as we stared lost in each other’s eyes, but it was also perfect. I couldn’t have loved Ben any more at that moment, and despite my nerves, I knew it was the right time and the right guy.
“You ready?” he asked, muscles quivering as he held himself over me. I nodded, tensing, then forced myself to relax as I remembered my friend’s advice from her first time.
I felt Ben at my entrance, felt my anxiety hitch, and then he was pushing into me. I gasped at the pain, and Ben froze, his eyes widening.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The words tripped over themselves.
