Page 43 of Shy Santa

I saw the stubborn streak flare in my daughter. She wouldn’t back down from this.

“How about we eat breakfast and table this conversation for later?” I stood, but Addy held up her hand.

“I’ll call Shirley. You need to tell her how you feel. Let her know you want to spend time with her.”

Ace nodded, then hugged Addy. “Thanks.”

“Come on, let’s eat. Bear went to a lot of trouble making pancakes. Let’s not waste them.” Addy patted her back before letting my little girl go. “Wash your hands while I carry these to the table.”

Ace hopped down and ran to the hall bathroom to do as told.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking yesterday when I took her to Aunt Shirley’s. I didn’t expect her to be in such terrible shape.” Addy wiped her eyes.

Giving into the itch, I pulled Addy into my arms. “Hey, it’s okay. That girl’s way stronger than we give her credit for. And it’s fine you took her to see Shirley. That woman is as close to a grandmother as Ace will ever know.”

Addy wiped her face on my chest, sniffling. “Yeah, my mom sucks. I try not to talk to her much. Shirley was more of a mom than my own.” Patting my back, she pulled away. “Come on. Lets go eat so I can call Shirley.”

* * *

The wind blewsnow around in the moonlight. The cup of coffee sat on the arm of the porch swing. I rocked slowly, absorbing the piece of the moment.

“Hey.” Addy poked her head out the back door. “Whatcha doing out here?”

I raised my coffee cup. “Cooling down. It’s a blasted sauna in there with everyone.” I didn’t want to tell her I needed a few minutes of quiet before I’d start to kick people out.

“Cooling off, huh?” She smirked and sat down next to me. “Alice-Grace convinced Shirley and Gerald to spend the night.”

Of course, she did.

It was Christmas Eve. Four days after the tree farm incident and three days after we learned how sick Shirley truly was. My girl wouldn’t allow Shirley any time alone to miss an opportunity to know she was loved.

“Seems my daughter’s a little dictator.” I chuckled and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. It was a little below freezing, but the wind was kicking up as the next round of storms set to blow through the area. We’d have to go in soon or Addy would freeze. “How’re you holding up?”

She shrugged and laid her head on my shoulder. “I thought we’d have more time. When Shirley told me she had cancer this summer, they didn’t tell me it progressed this far.”

I kissed the top of her head, and she wrapped her arms around me.

“I don’t know what I’ll do. I have to let my mom know. Even though Shirley told me to wait, I can’t do that. Mom has a right to know and say her goodbyes.” A sob broke and her shoulders shook as she cried on my chest.

Lifting her from the swing, I settled her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her; giving her time to let the grief out. There were no words I could offer to make it hurt less. No empty words of comfort to take away the sting of death that was coming.

The best thing I could do was sit here and hold the woman I loved. Hold her while she broke apart and bleed out the pain of losing the woman who was more mother than aunt. Hold silent visual over my girls while we traveled down this broken road filled with death and heartbreak.

Addy and I rocked on that porch swing until my fingers and toes tingled from the cold and her sobs quieted and they turned into the occasional sniffle.

Finally, Addy pulled her face from my neck. “We should go in before we turn into popsicles.” She climbed off my lap stiffly and stretched. “Sorry about that.”

I waved my hand in dismissal. “That’s what I am here for. The good and the bad. We are just going through a bad spell, that’s all.” I grabbed her hand and kissed her icy fingers. “I’m not going anywhere.”

CHAPTER24

Addy

“Wake up!” Alice-Grace shook my shoulders and pinched my arm.

“It’s too early.” Bear grumbled behind me. “The suns not up.”

“It’s Christmas, and it’s already seven. Mr. Gerald helped me make coffee, and we made cinnamon rolls.” The smells of said items hit my nose and made my stomach grumble.

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