Page 23 of Bitter Notes

“I don’t need your excuses, but our time against the desk is done. I don’t need to be second to anyone. No hard feelings,” I say with a shrug, eyeing his shallow breaths.

Ah, it appears that Van doesn’t like that answer. No. He wants to keep using me and then dumping me all over again. I don’t need to keep clawing at these raw wounds and tearing them open for a man who will never love me. He wants me to beg him to fuck me again so he can leave and return to his charmed life without a second glance.

“I, yeah, um…that’s cool,” he stutters through his words, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll still be your friend, though,” he murmurs, placing his hand on mine.

At one time, Van’s touch made butterflies burst inside my stomach. And for the first time in a long time, I feel absolutely nothing. Not even his big brown eyes could lure me into their spell. It’s taken a long time to get over how he made me feel and how he rejected me so severely. But I think I’m finally moving on. And so sue me, it may be into the arms of another rich dickface. To me, it’s significant progress on the Rivers’ heartbreak scale.

I’m moving on from my first and last love and onto a better dick. And that’s it. How’s that phrase go? When one dick disappoints, move on to the next one for a better ride? Yeah, something like that.

His fingers curl around mine, and he squeezes once. “I know you’re a big girl, way more capable than me. But I’m serious, Riv. They just take with no regard for who they hurt.”

“Yeah? And what did they take from you?” I ask, leaning on the counter again.

“Nothing from me, but they’ll stop at nothing to get to the top. They want…they want your dad to sign them,” he says, swallowing hard. “I’ve heard them talk about it when we played shows together. He’s their rock idol and getting to the KC Club is their ultimate dream.”

“Pfft. My dad can have ‘em,” I say, wrinkling my nose at the thought. But I’m skeptical of whatever he has to say. “So, let’s assume what you’re trying to say is…these assholes are getting close to me to get to him? Don’t they know Corbin West doesn’t do shit with his kids unless they’re named Seger or Zeppelin?” I scoff at that, envy brewing in my belly.

I vaguely remember my two older brothers from the short time I lived with them. But the one thing I know about them is that they got Dad’s attention their whole life. And my dad wrote me off the moment he threw us out. So, to say I’m a little jealous they got his love, and I didn’t, is an understatement. Why them and not me? That’s always been the question.

“Fine,” he mumbles. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He shakes his head, moving his long hair from his eyes.

“You’re good. You warned me that if I get burned, that’s on me. I don’t trust them as far as I can throw them, for the record,” I say with a shrug, earning a sharp nod.

Van waves goodbye as he walks out the door with a solemn look on his constipated face before stepping out into the sun. So, the boys think they’re getting into my daddy’s record company through me? That’s laughable at best. But let’s see them try. I won’t let my feelings get in the way. All I’m here for is a good time.

Ilickmyfingersas I waltz through the record store’s front door, moaning at her taste. Her essence fills my damn taste buds, going directly to my dick. God damn. She tastes as sweet as she felt on my dick, and I can’t wait to have another fucking bite of her. River might be the drug I’ve craved for years now.

Never in a million years did I think I’d reconnect with the girl I obsessed over as a kid. My best friend. The girl they forced me to repress. River was too young to understand how deeply I felt about her back then. I could tell her all day long that I loved her, and she’d never understood the true meaning of my words.

My entire world caved when my stupid stepfather marched into my life, hauled me off to greener pastures, and forced me to forget the life I had before. He effectively erased everything from my childhood memories down to the girl I wanted to rush back to. Through expensive new clothes and a butt load of new friends, he took her from me. By the time I reached high school, River was a distant memory and nothing more than a stain on my existence. If I had passed her in the halls or seen her in public, I wouldn’t have noticed or known who she was. I was too consumed with my rich new life to fucking care.

I lost myself for nine years, and now, I’ve found myself once again. I will do anything to have River by my side, even if it means kidnapping her to wherever we end up. I’ve only just found her, and I won’t lose her. Asher will throw a fit, but—fuck him.

The mid-August sun blares heat down on me like a fucking oven as I walk across the street toward the Tahoe sitting opposite the store. Sweat drips down my back, soaking through my shirt. Man. Screw this one-hundred-degree weather. I could use a dip in the lake. Maybe the boys will want to take the boat out and let loose. A couple of beers, loud music, and a quick dip? Sounds like a dream right about now. Maybe River would want to come to hang out on the lake sometime?

As much as I try to imagine the cool water flowing over my skin and cooling me down, my brain wanders. Memories float, surfacing in my mind, of her moans echoing off the walls and her tight pussy contracting around my cock. Reaching down, I adjust myself. I have no fucking shame. They all know exactly what I did, especially by the stupid expressions lining their faces. And if they have something to say about it, well—they can shove it. I’m doing what Asher instructed and bringing her into our little web, except she’s mine. We may use her for her father’s influence and gain a little fame. But everything about River West is mine.

Next stop, I’ll kneel in her office, awaiting her every instruction. She can grip me by the balls and tell me to squawk like a chicken, and I’d do it if she lets me inside her again. And soon, our plan will all click into place. It’s all coming together as I’m coming apart.

Fuck. My dick jumps at that, twitching in my pants, waiting for the moment he can explode to her memory. But I won’t touch it until I get to her tonight. I’ll make good on my promise and kneel in her office until she allows me a taste and fuck.

I grin when I scoot into the passenger seat of Ash’s Tahoe, which is identical to mine. A light feeling falls over me, and my shadows fade away.

“What is Van doing?” Callum asks in a soft voice, eyeing the maniac throwing open the door to the record store with determination on his face.

From here, I can see River’s tight expression through the window when he stops in front of her. Concern bleeds from his facial expression as he speaks to her. Fuck him! He left her. He has no fucking right to march back in there like he owns her.

I fucking own her. Those marks on her neck are mine for the world to see who she belongs to. White hot jealousy runs through my damn veins, and I want nothing more than to rip every piece of his throat out and maybe break his face. Fuck him for thinking he could waltz back into her life when he was the dick who fucked her over. No, that’s my fucking job. Evil parents forced me away, but now I’m back and better than ever. Van needs to be dealt with.

“Daw look, little Van is trying to get back into her good graces,” Rad says mockingly, leaning across Callum to get a better view. He plasters his nose against the backseat window, earning a growl from Asher for leaving marks. Callum pats Rad’s back with a sigh as he drapes himself over Cal’s lap.

“He still wants to fuck her,” Ash says matter-oh-factly. “He could be a problem.”

“Not by the look on her face. Oh, snap,” Rad cackles, pointing toward them. “He’s trying to hold her hand, and she looks like she wants to puke.” He snorts at that, howling with laughter at Van’s failures.

“I remember hearing about them, just didn’t realize it was her until now,” Callum says, shaking his head with furrowed brows. Light creeps into his eyes as he stares at her from afar, watching her every move with quiet intentions.

Our buddy may be a budded virgin, but I always know when he’s interested in a chick. A look always passes over his eyes, and an interest forms. He’ll watch from the shadows, inspecting his crush from afar, but never seems to make the moves. I know his reasoning and why he’s held onto his v-card for so long, but I think he’ll give it up someday soon. Especially with the way he blushes and stumbles around River. Two down, two to go. Now, all I have to do is get Rad and Asher interested in our little mark, and my plan will come together. There will be no protests when I haul her into my lap and force her to California when we get our big break.

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