Me: And I do believe you just sent me an unsolicited dick pic. As an innocent girl from Wilmington, NC, I’m shocked and horrified by this behavior.
Archer: I’ll let the head of Mathos Company HR know.
Archer: Except we don’t actually have a Human Resources department. Because we’re a mercenary group.
Archer: I’m sitting here in the cockpit with nothing to do for six hours. Are you really going to leave me hanging?
I paused to make sure there was only silence coming from Kaylee’s room, then I went to my room and closed the door. I stripped off my jeans, then swapped out my current pair of panties for the sexy red lace ones. I pulled them aside, laid my fingers across my bush, and snapped a photo.
Me: Here you go. But only because you’re such a good boy.
Me: [photo]
Archer: Did you send it? I’m getting an error message.
Me: Yes
Archer: It says message failed to download
Archer: Ugh, it’s probably this bullocks VPN I’m using.
Me: Oh no. That’s incredibly sad for you.
Me: It was a good photo, too.
Archer: You are, quite possibly, the most evil woman I have ever met. And I’ve been to Glasgow.
Me: What are you going to do about it?
Archer: Hmm. I think Jordy and I will take out my sexual frustrations on you this evening.
Me: Yeah?
Archer: Yes.
Me: Tell me what you’re going to do.
Archer: Oh, I think you’re going to have to wait to find out.
Me: Give me a hint?
Archer: No.
Me: OH, COME ON.
Me: I’m dying here.
Archer: Oh no. That’s incredibly sad for you.
Archer: Do you see what I did there? I copied exactly what you said to me earlier. It’s not fun when you’re on the receiving end, is it?
Me: I just remembered that I’m getting my period tonight. At exactly the moment you get home. Sorry.
Archer: Got to go. There’s a situation.
Me: Really? Is everything okay?
I wondered if he was pulling my leg. But an hour passed without him responding, then two. I searched the internet for Ukrainian news, but there were no results that included Americans.