Page 51 of Taken

She’ll never be the same once it happens.

Even when Mercy took the life of vampires, she never felt good about it. Yes, it was her duty, but not all missions came with the reward of victory. Most came with pain of regret, haunted by the image of what you had done.

Mercy was going to kill Cami, and it was gutting me inside that she’d have to carry that weight for eternity.

I heard a knock on the door, and I knew it was Melissa. I tried to calm my breathing, to pretend I was all right, but I couldn’t. The knock came again, louder that time.

“Caleb,” Melissa called through the thickness of the mansion doors. “It’s me.”

I tried to answer, but nothing came out. I felt paralyzed. My mind was whirling, and my body wouldn’t cooperate.

When she was met with silence, the doorknob turned, and she walked in, strolling to the couch once she spotted me. Her soft, feminine hand reached out, taking her index finger to lift my chin up and look into my eyes.

“I’ve been so worried about you, Caleb,” she said.

Nothing I could say would make this situation any better; no words of encouragement to let her know I was okay. I wasn’t okay.

“Talk to me,” she said, her voice the tone of warm honey.

“I’m sorry,” I said, as my face contorted. “I’m all sorts of fucked up right now.”

“We’ll figure it out,” she said. “If you’ve taught me anything since we’ve met, it’s that even when you’re utterly broken, you and the coven always find a way to bring each other peace through your powers. I know I don’t have some magical bond with you as they do, but please let me do that for you by just being here.”

I shrugged. “Or maybe I want to feel this way,” I said. “The agony prepares me for the harder shit.”

Melissa smirked and sat beside me, placing her hand on mine.

I turned to face her, but I knew she saw no hope in my expression. “Are you sure you’re ready for all this?” I asked. “Dating an elemental witch comes with the possibility that I’d have to kill.” I watched her flinch, but she kept her expression poised. “And not just vampires.”

Melissa’s expression fell. “I think maybe I’ll pour us a glass of wine. Yeah?”

I smiled for the first time since the call. I needed something stronger than wine.

After she poured two glasses, we walked into the library. It was the one place I could decompress. The smell of the leather and paper was like a soothing caress on my turmoiled mind and burning guilt.

“There are so many books,” Melissa said, running her hand over the dusty shelves in the mansion’s library. “Have you read all of these?”

“Most of them,” I replied.

“Most of them?” She gasped. “Seriously, there are easily over four-hundred books on these shelves.”

I took a sip of wine. “I had these brought down from my place in Salem. I kept a few books I had read throughout the years, but because I was constantly moving around, I had to donate most of them. I didn’t have the space in Salem, and these shelves were empty. Abigail said I could keep them here, and so I started rebuilding my collection.”

“That’s generous. They’re taking up the entire room.” She scanned the shelves, trailing her fingers along the wood and wiping off the dust from her fingers when she reached the end. “You really have seen a lot, haven’t you?”

Melissa was attempting to distract me, and it was working. Talking about this space gave me a small amount of peace. Reading has always been my outlet, from the seventeenth century until now.

I nodded. “Yeah, but it also has been lonely.” My confession sounded so damn pathetic. “When you know you have all the time in the world, you waste it. You also keep to yourself because you’ll only watch those you love die.”

The words slipped before I could stop them. Melissa’s face grew somber, but she didn’t look away. “Then what are you doing withme?” she asked. “Your coven and father are the only constants in your life. I can see why you’re drawn to them instead of those from the outside world.”

How do I respond to that?

I didn’t have the answer, not one she’d like. I wish I did. I’d tell Melissa that I wanted her now. I wanted her tomorrow; it didn’t matter if she grew old, and I didn’t. It wouldn’t matter if I watched her die at forty, sixty, or a hundred years old. I wanted to be with her. But it also meant she had to live with my demons. She’d have to understand that even if my heart entirely moved on from Mercy, she would always be in my life.

We’d have to make the most of her life before she grew old, and I’d have to watch her slip away.

“You know I care about you, Melissa,” I said. “But having a relationship with me also means you have to take the bad, and there’s a lot of fucking bad.”

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