Page 103 of His Noble Ruin

“Graham,” I said, at a loss for words. “I’msosorry.”

“So am I,” he said. “Eternally.”

I tried to let it go, but I couldn’t fight the rising passion. “What happened was awful—beyond awful. A nightmare no child should have to live. But that’s exactly it. You were a child!” I moved my hand to his shoulder and looked him in the eye. “It was an accident, Graham. Your mother was wrong to blame you.”

“I want to believe you, more than anything. But if I didn’t do something wrong, why do I feel so much remorse?”

I looked down at the still water. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll never shake the remorse. I’ll never stop blaming myself. But these past few weeks with you have shown me what it’s like to feel anything other than completely alone.” He reached his hand up to my cheek.

My gaze shot back to him. My body flowed with too much energy to separate my emotions from my logic and keep them contained where they belonged. All I knew was a desire to lighten his pain, to clear his remorse, to let him know he was good.

I didn’t notice when the distance between us disappeared, but I found myself mere inches from his face. The inches were still too much.

Graham slid his hand under my chin, his eyes glancing toward my lips.

I searched for the strength to stop. I tried to direct my energy into logic. I told my hands to stay put, but they moved up his neck and twisted into his hair instead.

He leaned his forehead head onto mine, his breath keeping pace with my own. When he brushed my lip with the tip of his finger, I lost all resistance and kissed him.

He kissed me back with more certainty than I could’ve dreamed of, his mouth shamelessly exploring mine as if he’d been planning in precise detail exactly what he would do to me if he ever got the chance.

Chills traveled through my body, yet everything was warm. I’d wanted this for much longer than I’d consciously realized, and now I feared I would never get enough.

Wait.

This isn’t right.

He doesn’t know.

I pulled back. I didn’t deserve this, not if I still couldn’t be honest with him. I should’ve said I was sorry, told him I’d made a mistake, and swore it would never happen again.

But then he reached around my back and pulled me against him, my thoughts immediately fleeing as I fell completely under his control. He kissed me again and I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him even closer. For a moment, as I became hopelessly lost in the intoxication of his lips and the heat of his skin, he was just Graham—and I could pretend I was a girl without any dangerous secrets.

I didn’t want to let go. Not ever. But the guilt in my heart raged. Did any of this mean a thing if he didn’t truly know me? I opened my eyes and pulled away, sending ripples across the dark lake.

His mouth angled downward, his smile gone as quickly as the kiss. “What is it?”

I looked away, afraid to meet his eye. “We’ve been here too long.”

He was quiet as if trying to detect what had caused the sudden change. “Did I do something wrong?”

I shook my head. “I just need a minute.”

I turned away and swam across the dark waters alone. For a few short moments, everything had felt perfect. But now my heart felt as cold as my lips.

ChapterThirty-Five

The far rimof the lake gave me a quiet place to think. It was time to find a way to set things right. If Cael couldn’t follow us, maybe I could save Graham. But how could I stop the attack if I didn’t deliver him to Tramore as promised?

I rested my arms on the rim and dropped my cheek to the cold black rock. It would have been worlds easier if I could at least decipher what was right.

A whisper hissed in the dark. Fear jolted through me and I raised my head.

A figure crouched in front of me. Even in the dim starlight, I recognized his arrogant posture.

Cael wasn’t with his boat.

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