Page 37 of The Shadow Gods

I stared at it, my brain hitching at the thought of lying beside Hector.Does not compute.Despite his kiss, the idea of holding him seemed to be a dream. I couldn't picture it happening. But I'd never let an opportunity pass me by, and I wasn't about to start tonight.

“Nothing has to happen,” Hector said. He passed by me, pulling the book I still clutched in my hands. Dropping it on the bedside table, he sat. “You need sleep.”

Exhaustion tugged at every part of me, but I didn't want to sleep. Digging deep for some courage, I told him exactly what I wanted. “I'm not wasting a night with you.”

He was so much taller than me, I had to reach up to cup his face between my hands. His beard was soft against my palms, and I ran my thumbs over it. Closing his eyes, he let out a sigh. When was the last time he’d let himself relax? Or be comforted? Everything about Hector screamed warrior, soldier. Prince.

He held himself as stiff as a statue, but he was still a man. One who had lost his family and his country and his humanity.

In that moment, I wanted to give him a safe place to land. I wanted to be the one he looked to when he needed someone to bolster him up or hold him close.

His beard rasped against my fingers, and he leaned a little more into me, as if craving my touch.

Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulled me closer. His body was hot and hard, without an ounce of softness.

I could be his softness.

Opening his eyes, he held my stare. His gaze didn't move from mine. I considered hiding how I felt, but I didn't want that. I didn't want to be one more thing Hector had to work at or decipher. Besides, that wasn't me. I wasn't complicated.

I was blunt to a fault, agonized over decisions, and strived to be a little better today than I was yesterday.

He let out another breath, one that shuddered and gave away how close he was to the edge.

“I want you,” I told him and immediately flushed from my spine to my hairline. There was the bluntness that got me into trouble. “I...”Ugh. Say it!“I...Hector...I think. No. I know. I mean, I'm falling in love with you.”There.

I took a breath because, for some reason, I sounded like I'd run a race. “I'm falling in love with you.”

He stared at me. Silence—heavy and thick—filled the room. I'd gone too far. Made things awkward.

But I wasn't going to apologize. I lifted my chin, stared at him, and doubled down. “I'm falling in love with you.”

Whatever walls were between us tumbled away. I could see the second the darkness disappeared from his eyes, and there was only that beautiful blue. It was like the sky now, clear and bright.

Hector gazed down at me, shook his head a little, and whispered, “You might be the bravest thing I've ever met.” Clearing his throat, he went on, “I want you, too, Leo. But it's been a long time for me.”

Until a few nights ago, I could have said the same thing. I wasn't ashamed of the night I spent with Achilles, but I was suddenly afraid that it bothered Hector. He'd never given me any indication it had, but what if he'd been hiding it? Now that I'd told him how I was feeling, was he wondering if I was bouncing between the five of them?

Shit. I wished there was some kind of book that would tell me what to do or how to act, because I was sick of doing the wrong thing.

Hector dropped his face to mine, kissing my temple, then my cheek, and finally my lips. It was just a graze, a light brush of skin against skin, before he pulled back.

“I don't want to lie to you—”

He stopped me with another kiss. “I know about Achilles. I know how my friends and brother feel. I know howIfeel. And while I never imagined we would all have similar feelings about the same woman, I don't think this could work any other way.”

It wasn't lost on me that he didn't describe what exactly those feelings were, but I wouldn’t ask for specifics yet.

“Leo. The five of us have been together for longer than there has been history. And maybe we haven't spent every year together, but we're linked. No one else in this world could understand me like they do. Or—I never thought anyone could. You do.” It was the first time he seemed to stumble over his words in a way that reminded me of...me.

“You're who we never knew we were missing.Inever knew, never imagined, there could be someone else for me. After everything.”

Everything.

Funny how one word could sum up both loss and love. Once upon a time, Hector had been a prince, poised to take a throne. He'd had a son and wife he loved. He'd been respected and feared and lived a human life.

Then he'd lost it.

Everything.

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