Page 10 of Indescribable

The sun has already set and I’m thinking there’s something to this whole nudist lifestyle. Well, behind closed doors anyway.

It’s quite frankly liberating. There’s vulnerability that comes with inspecting my own body. It’s a bit nerve-racking because I know I don’t have a quote-unquote perfect body. But my body is strong and carries me through life. When I first found out that Wyatt was cheating on me, of course I took a look at myself. It was a natural response. I was looking for a reason why my husband would search for intimacy with someone else. At that time, I found faults in my body. It took me an entire year of self-love – admittedly both kinds of self-love, but I digress – to feel confident in the way I look.

I no longer judge myself harshly. I no longer feel bad about the extra skin that bunches up around my stomach or the fact that my thighs graze against each other.

As I sit here watchingOrange Is the New Blackwhich shows women of all shapes and sizes and sometimes naked, I only see beauty on the screen. It’s a stark reminder that I should continue to see that in myself as well.

If anything good comes out of my divorce, it’s that I was able to spend an entire year working on myself during our separation.

Finding myself again.

Loving myself again.

Realizing my worth.

Throughout the evening, I’ve finished a bottle of wine and refilled my snacks, but aside from that and using the restroom when needed, I’ve parked myself on the couch.

Bliss.

Complete bliss.

Until…

I hear the doorbell ringing repeatedly and someone banging on the door.

“What in the world?” I whisper to myself.

My first thought is that it must be Wyatt. Possibly drunk.

I stand up, planning to throw on a robe or a blanket to cover my nakedness and peek through the window to see who’s here, but it’s too late.

Before I have the chance to cover myself, I hear a key and the door unlocking and Corbin’s voice shouting as she enters my house.

“Naomi! Naomi!” she hollers, sounding scared out of her mind.

And then Corbin is standing in my living room.

Staring at me.

And Brock is right behind her.

Also staring at me.

“Oh my gosh, what are you doing here?”

Their eyes are wide as I use my hands and arms unsuccessfully to cover all my private areas. Corbin presses her lips together to stop from laughing but doesn’t do a very good job at it. Brock, however, looks like a deer caught in headlights. He simply continues to stare at me.

I quickly snatch a blanket off the back of the couch, which, in hindsight, is something I should have done the second the door opened, and wrap it around my shoulders. I’m also currently regretting my decision to give Corbin a key to my place when she gave me one to hers.

“Are you… is there someone here with you?” Corbin asks, smiling. Before giving me a chance to answer, she continues, “We’ll just… uh… leave you to it, then. Good for you, girlfriend. Getting back out there already.”

She spins around and pushes on Brock’s shoulder to get his feet to move but he stands glued to his spot.

“There’s no one here,” I mumble.

“Did you just get out of the shower?” she asks, facing me again, though it’s obvious that’s not the case as she takes in the setting. The fact that there’s wine and snacks and a show playing on the television.

I tighten the blanket, holding it closed around my thighs as well. I’m still completely naked under the blanket and the damage has already been done. Brock has seen me without a stitch of clothes on.

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