Page 4 of Indescribable

“Finally, you get it!” I grab the pen and papers off the coffee table and shove them in his face. “Clearly I’m not what you need or want and I can’t give you what you need or want so yeah… we’re done. Sign the damn papers.”

With another glare, he yanks the packet out of my hand along with the pen.

Now would be a really good time to learn how to do that one eyebrow raise thing just to look cool and let him know that I know that I won the argument. Although, Wyatt signing the papers right now is proof of that.

With jerky penmanship, he gets everything signed and slams it back onto the coffee table.

“Happy now?”

Another scoff from me. “Happy? Are you seriously asking me if I’m happy that you and I just signeddivorcepapers? When we got married, I committed my life to you forever. This,” I point back and forth between us, “isn’t what I wanted.”

“Then why are we doing this?”

“Because it’s over. I can’t trust you anymore. I can’t find it in my heart to forget the fact that I had to hear about you cheating on me while I was pumping gas and overheard a conversation between two women that I absolutely wasn’t supposed to hear. I can’t forget the second phone I found that you used to communicate with the plethora of women you screwed while I was still wearing your ring. I’ve forgiven because it’s better for me to forgive than it is to harbor anger forever, but I can’t forget it. And honestly? This might be hard to hear, but I don’t love you, Wyatt. Not anymore. Not for a long time, either.”

His eyes soften, finally, and he relaxes his shoulders. “I know. It isn’t what I wanted either. I screwed up, Naomi.”

“We all screw up from time to time, Wyatt. It’s what we do after we screw up that matters. That’s where you went wrong.”

“Damn it, I really screwed up, didn’t I?”

“You did,” I agree. I placated him long enough. Coddled him like a toddler to make things easier because I don’t do well with confrontation. But enough’s enough. It’s time to put myself first and move on.

Something shifts in his eyes and for the first time since I found out he cheated on me almost two years ago, I see the same boy I fell in love with as a teenager.

“I thought with the wrong head,” he adds sheepishly. “Too many times. I’m messed up about it and I did the wrong thing and you’re right, this is on me. Doesn’t mean I’m happy about the divorce because I do still love you, but I let my dick control my thoughts for way too long.”

I chuckle because, really, what else is there to do now? “You definitely did that.” It feels good to laugh, even if nothing we’re currently doing is at all humorous.

“You really don’t love me anymore? At all?”

“Not the way a woman should love her husband,” I admit. “I’ll always love a part of you, but I fell out of love with you.”

He blows out a shuddering breath. “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry. And when we got married, I planned on it being forever, too. I didn’t want to fail you this way, but I did in more ways than one. I’m a screw-up.”

I want to comfort him. I want to tell him that he’s not a screw-up, but if I do, he’ll read into it. Just like he read into the fact that he slept in my guest room for a year instead of finding his own place to live. I wish I could tell him that he didn’t fail me but that’s not entirely true, either. He may not have failed me in one of the ways he’s talking about, but definitely as a husband. When everything went topsy-turvy, he chose the path that led him away from me rather than toward me. “We’ll be okay, Wyatt.”

“Will we? I’m not so sure. We just signed the papers that ended our marriage, Naomi. How are we going to be okay?”

I plop down on the couch again. “What other choice do either of us have? It’s time to move forward and put this mess of a marriage behind us.”

“This has the potential of making things way worse but I need to say it anyway.”

“Well, this sounds real promising,” I joke.

The corner of his mouth ticks up for a split second then falls. “They didn’t mean anything. The women, I mean. It wasn’t even… enjoyable, I guess.”

A shocked laugh flies out of my mouth. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Fuck, this is embarrassing and awkward.”

“Well, my guess is talking to your wife about the other women you’ve been having sex with is supposed to be awkward,” I mention, thinking he’s acting like a lunatic right now if he thinks I actually want to hear this.

“Yeah. I guess what I mean is, it ended the way it was supposed to end but it wasn’t a fun way to get there,” he grumbles. “I don’t know. I think I was trying to prove something to myself. That I could still be a man in that area but it failed, obviously. I just needed you to know that.”

“Yet you continued?”

He nods. “Well, I’m an idiot, so… yeah.”

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