Page 2 of Indescribable

“He is so your son, dude.” Cash chuckles, wiping a hand over his face. “Look at him,” he adds, still laughing. Now Cody is bowing and kneeling in front of the flower girl, his arm raised as if to tell everyone to watch her now. She twirls in her dress and tosses flowers in the air dramatically.

The two showstoppers stand in their spots and Cody looks at his dad, taps the bottom of his chin, and smiles. It’s something the two have done for a few years.Chin up.When either are sad or struggling, they remind each other to keep their chins up and the next day will be better. At only four, Cody has had more hurt than any of us would like.

His mother walking away from him at eighteen months old being the biggest heartbreak of all. Hearing my asshole father call Cody “a bastard who ruined his father’s chance at a future” definitely didn’t help. Of course, Cody didn’t know what a bastard was, still doesn’t, but he definitely understood that it isn’t a good word to use about another person. And the tone of his grandfather’s voice didn’t leave much to the imagination. That’s the only reason he understood that what his grandpa was saying about him was bad in the first place. He told Corbin Rae that Grandpa said something mean about him and didn’t like him and he didn’t understand why.

That was the day we all cut him, officially, out of our lives. Though, if we were being honest, it was a long time coming. When he left our mom, he also chose to leave us. When Boone’s girlfriend became pregnant at the end of their junior year in high school, Boone stepped up immediately, but Daisy, his girlfriend, wasn’t ready. She tried, but being a mother didn’t bring her happiness so she left. Never looked back.

And missed out on the best, most hilarious kid in the universe. Who, at this very moment, is smiling widely as if he’s had nothing but happiness in his life.

“Hi, Cor!” Cody shouts, waving like crazy at his aunt.

She laughs and gives him a little wave in return. He smiles then turns and fist bumps one of the groomsmen.

“He’s so embarrassing.” Boone chuckles, but his words don’t hold any truth.

WhenCanon in Dstarts playing and the minister directs everyone to stand, I know my time is up. The woman I have loved for over a decade of my life, probably longer, is about to marry someone else. I adjust the lapels on my suit and stand tall, swallowing down the lump in my throat.

I can do this.

I’ll take a back seat knowing that Naomi is happy.

Just like I’ve done every day since I realized the love I have for her is one that will never go away.

Even if the pain that accompanies it is indescribable.

ChapterOne

Eight YearsLater

Naomi

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m done with the separation. I’m done with the waiting to see if things will change because we both know they won’t. I’m not messing around with this another day. I was ready ayearago when I first asked for the separation and somehow let you talk me into waiting but nothing is going to change, including the fact that I don’t love you anymore.”

“Are you kidding me right now? I made amistake,Naomi. A stupid mistake. I can’t believe that you’re actually going through with this,” he growls, slapping the papers I just asked him to sign down on the coffee table in front of us. He stands up and angrily rakes a hand through his hair then turns to me and glares. “It’s like you don’t even care that you’re letting this marriage fall apart.”

“I’m the one letting it fall apart? Oh, that’s rich. Also… it was notastupid mistake, Wyatt. Once, I might have been able to forgive.” His eyes light up at my words so I quickly amend myself. “Mightbeing the keyword here. But this wasn’t once. It’s as if the second we got the news, you decided it was open season with your dick. We’ve been separated and you’ve been sleeping in the spare room for an entire year, Wyatt! How did you not realize that this was actually going to happen? Should I have totally kicked you out before this to make you understand?” I growl in frustration. With myself. With him. With the entire situation. Especially with the fact that now of all times he’s fighting me. It’s not as if this is shocking. We’ve been talking about this for a year. Went to therapy. He was well aware that divorce was going to happen. “I knew it was a mistake to let you stay. The second I asked for a separation, I should have made you move out. Why did I let you talk me into letting you stay here?” I’m rambling and repeating myself, which shows how frustrated I am with this situation.

“No. We talked about that. We needed to try to make it work, remember? It was better for me to stay, you know? I was messed up in the head after hearing it,” he says by way of explanation. “It helped me to be here with you.”

My laugh lacks all humor. “Oh, okay. Well, when you put it like that. As long as it helpedyou.” I feel so completely stupid, letting him stay here as if things were going to change. He was so convincing though. Not only did he say we needed to try to work things out, but he told me it made more financial sense to stay living under one roof. He was right about that part. Maybe. Now I’m thinking he was full of shit and just thought he’d somehow convince me to stay with him. Just like he convinced me that it wasn’t healthy for our marriage for me to be friends with Brock. Too bad I couldn’t convince him that sleeping with other women was even less healthy for our marriage. “Being here with me isn’t really what helped you though, is it? It was all the other women you slept with. And that wasn’t just after I asked you for a separation, which, might I remind you, was the reason I asked for the separation in the first place.”

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even tell me that you haven’t thought about stepping out on me before.”

“I know this is hard for you to believe considering your personal history, but no, I haven’t.”

“Oh, right. You’re telling me you’ve never thought about it with Brock?”

My eyes widen. “You’re throwing my friendship with Brock in my face right now? Are you insane? We’ve been friends since we werebabies. How do you not understand this? Why are we still arguing over this same old issue? You asked me to distance my friendship with him because you felt like I was relying on him more than you and I did exactly that. We hardly ever talk or even see each other anymore.”

“He’s in love with you,” he says as if that is an answer to his insanity.

“This same argument is getting so damn old.” I shake my head. “Think whatever you want. It’s never been like that between us and my friendship with him is not the issue here and you know it. You’re just trying to make me feel guilty for somethingyoudid. Same old Wyatt. You can’t take responsibility for your own mistakes. It’s just easier to pass the blame onto someone else, right? Couldn’t possibly be your fault.”

He rakes a hand through his hair and growls. “You don’t understand.”

Whatever his way of explanation is, it won’t change my mind, but I do want to know so I gesture for him to continue and sit on the sofa.

“This is hard for me to admit but hearing that I can’t give you something other men can was even harder. That’s why. I needed to prove to myself that I was…”

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