Page 31 of Love By the Bay

“Girl, you’re gonna turn into a gallon of Rocky Road if you keep this up,” Julia laughs, prying the spoon and almost empty container of ice cream out of my hands. She’s right, and I need my best friend to stage an intervention because I can’t seem to pull myself out of this funk. I’ve been holed up in my apartment since Wednesday night when Jake Hartman broke my heart, and I’ve felt so low I wouldn’t even let my mom in.

But as my best friend, Julia knows that the latch on my screen door can easily be jimmied open, so even though I put the deadbolt on the front door to keep my parents out, she managed to let herself in.

Once Julia has disposed of the offending ice cream and fixed me a much more soothing peppermint tea, she flops down on the couch beside me, tucking her legs up under her.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened, Livi?”

Just her simple question sends me into floods of tears and thankfully Julia just holds me until I’m all cried out, stroking my hair and making soothing noises.

When I’m done, my tea is cold, so she makes me a fresh cup, and I begin to tell her everything that happened between Jake and me, all the gory details you can only share with your bestie. She listens and nods in all the right places but doesn’t interrupt me until I’m done with my story.

“So, what’s your advice?” I ask, wiping the fresh tears from my cheeks.

Julia shifts so she’s sitting cross legged and facing me. “Well, it’s clear to me that you’re completely in love with him. And I’m not talking about your cute but slightly annoying teenage crush,” she laughs. “I’m talking full on, head over heels, completely and utterly in love with him.”

I snort and roll my eyes. “No shit, Sherlock! But how does that help me? He literally threw me out of his house and said sleeping together was a mistake. How am I supposed to take that?”

“Is this still about what happened to Pete?” Julia asks quietly, rubbing my arm.

I have to think long and hard about her question.

“That’s definitely how this whole thing started, getting the answers I thought I needed about what happened to my brother,” I reply, playing with a loose thread on the throw that covers my legs. “But the more I think about it, the more I realize that knowing all the details won’t bring Pete back. I have to let him go. Thinking about what happened to him will only bring me more pain” I shrug and lower my eyes, unsure of what I’ll see reflected in my friend’s expression.

“So you need to ask yourself something. Do you want to be with Jake?” she asks, cutting to the chase like she always does.

I take a deep breath. “Yes, I want him so much I can’t even contemplate my life without him in it,” I sigh.

“Then you have to let Pete go, babe,” Julia says. “It’s not gonna bring him back and whatever Jake knows, he’s keeping it to himself to protect you, I’m sure of it.”

I nod in agreement but don’t say anything because my throat is thick with emotion. I’ve been such a stubborn fool. And for what? It still hurts that Pete died and it always will, but knowing all the details will just open old wounds that I’ve worked really hard to heal.

Julia and I talk for a while longer, dissecting everything and trying to make a plan of what I can do next. I mean, I’m not even sure Jake will still be in town by the time I pluck up the courage to go back to his house.

As my living room begins to fill with the soft orange light of sunset, Julia gathers her things and pulls me into a hug.

“I wish I could stay longer, but I have six dogs boarding tonight, and they all need to be walked before it gets too dark,” she says, squeezing me tightly. “And no offense, babe, but you need a shower before you go anywhere near that fine man.”

I laugh self-consciously but I know she’s right, so once she’s gone, I head straight to the shower to freshen up. The warm water feels rejuvenating as it cascades over my body, and I stay under it until my fingers are wrinkly and I’ve used all the hot water.

Wrapping myself in a fluffy towel and using another to scrub my hair dry, I walk from the bathroom to my bedroom, but stop dead when I see Jake sitting on my couch.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I shriek, grabbing the towel to make sure it doesn’t drop away from my body. It seems like a stupid reaction because just a few days ago, Jake licked every inch of me. My traitorous nipples harden at the memory of it, and I grip the towel even tighter against myself in an effort to hide my reaction.

Jake jumps up from the couch and stuffs his hands into his pockets, trying not to look at me in some sort of false sense of gentlemanly dignity. “Julia let me in as she was leaving. She said you were taking a shower, and that I should wait because you have some stuff to tell me. She also told me I was a huge douche canoe for kicking you out the other night.”

God damn my soon-to-be-ex-best friend and her meddling.

“Well, I’m not talking to you while I’m half naked,” I huff. “So just wait here.”

I stomp into my bedroom and slam the door, leaning up against it to catch my breath. I thought I had time to come up with what I was going to say to Jake, but now he’s sitting in my living room, and I have nowhere to hide. Quickly, I pull on some leggings and my favorite slouchy T-shirt that hangs off one shoulder, scrub most of the moisture out of my hair and twist it into a thick braid that hangs down my back. I don’t give a crap that I don’t have a scrap of makeup on, but I am a little relieved that I don’t smell like a dumpster anymore.

When I walk back into the living room, Jake is still on his feet, pacing like he seems to do a lot. When he catches sight of me, he stops and looks at me, and I can see that he’s as miserable as I am. The crease between his brows is deeper than ever, and he looks like he’s in physical pain. Despite the fact he shattered my heart the other night, it still aches for him and the pain that he’s feeling.

“What do you want, Jake?” I ask, trying desperately to keep my voice even and calm. I need to hear what he has to say before I expose my wounded heart to him, and if he’s come here to say goodbye there’s no way I’m going to tell him how I really feel. He needs to show his hand first.

“Your mom came to my house this afternoon,” he says looking at me sheepishly, and I can’t help the little smirk that tilts up the corners of my mouth. Typical Sheila Masters, she couldn’t get it out of me, so of course she went to interrogate Jake. “I told her everything.”

“Everything?” I cry, my cheeks flaming at the thought of Jake and my mom talking about our night together.

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