Page 95 of Moon Tamed

“You could try selling your son into slavery,” my brother suggested. “Give him to my sister to do with as she pleases. That’s scandalous.”

“Sure. Calden, you belong to my executive secretary now. Report for duty starting immediately. You can start with resuming your hot chocolate service after dinner.”

Calden snorted, shook his head, and then laughed. “Sure, Dad. Her office isn’t large enough for us both to work in it, though.”

“Your office is right next to hers. Stop complaining. And anyway, her office is currently owned by endangered species. They just let her use it. Coraline, you have my permission to do work in Calden’s office if you need to think without having the parrots yelling at you for bananas.”

“That could work, but I’m not responsible if the birds scream for bananas because I’m not there to calm them or suggest they shut their beaks else there will never be bananas ever again. I still need to check with the vet to determine if they can have bananas. If they can, I will have a way to bribe the little shits into giving me some peace and quiet for a while. That won’t stop the songbirds, but at least the songbirds peep rather than shriek and scream because they didn’t get bananas.”

“You must feel like you’re under consistent assault,” my father stated.

“It’s been a battle. A tiring one. Please feed me.”

My mother laughed. “It’ll be about twenty more minutes before the food is done. You’ll probably survive. And if you don’t, we’ll hold a lovely ceremony for you.”

“I will do my best to survive at least twenty more minutes. Did you enjoy a quiet weekend, free from the burdens of feeding your hungrier child?”

“It was pleasant to escape from the pleading stares for more food for a few hours.” My mother laughed and herded us to the dining room. “Are you enjoying your new job?”

“I was paid to shoot my brother repeatedly. As far as I’m concerned, I have the best job on the planet. The boss isn’t too bad, either. I got paid to shoot him, too.”

My parents regarded Allasandro Stephans, who still wore some evidence of his paintball adventures. While he’d changed his suit jacket, he hadn’t bothered with the shirt. He regarded his chest and shrugged. “I forgot to bring an extra shirt to work, but I had assumed the suit’s days were numbered. And by the time she finished with me, my shirt was soaked with paint. I’m going to be blue for a while, but it’s a small price to pay to keep the secretary happy. It’s all part of my plan to make certain she sticks around.”

“I don’t think you’re going to have a problem with that,” I told him. “Beyond this report, which may cost me my sanity by the time I’m finished. Please point me in the direction of all your corruption.”

My boss snickered. “But I already gave you the entire list of my petty cash abuses.”

“Dad stocks his petty cash with his own funds,” Calden muttered. “So that isn’t even an issue. He literally gives the accounting department money he can play with in the petty cash fund for whatever he wants.”

I stared at Calden, trying to figure out a polite way to inform him he wasn’t helping the cause.

“You just said something so stupid she has to reboot her brain,” Peter announced.

Calden held his hands up in a placating gesture. “I’m just telling the truth.”

“While you’re telling the truth, telling the truth is making this even harder, because I’m going to go to the accounting department tomorrow, and after I’m done shooting everyone to soften them up for the interrogation, they’re going to laugh me right out of the building.”

“I’ll make sure to warn the accounting department you’re coming armed, that you expect to be able to gain more points, and you intend on confirming my status as ethical.”

“There should be limits to your ethical behaviors, sir! You’re going to make saints look positively sinful at the rate you’re going.” I picked my favorite seat, crossed my arms over my chest, and sulked. “I’m going to submit this report, and it’s going to be filled with my general complaints over how much idiotic red tape there is without any actual evidence of wrongdoing. And then I’m going to complain that audits should find something. This audit has found nothing corrupt.”

“I’m sure you’d find some accounting errors if you had the tax board investigate the accounting department,” my boss stated, and he took a seat nearby but out of my general range. Calden sat beside me and laughed at his father.

“I will tell the accountants I won’t suggest that the tax board audit investigate them if they stand still while I shoot them. Heart shots are worth more points.”

“I will also suggest they wear padding to minimize how many bruises you give them. What do you plan to do with your victory? At this stage, we’re having fun watching you hunt everyone. Expect a bunch of posing for your shooting enjoyment. The others have decided I must lose terribly to you. As this falls in general lines with my plans, I’m enjoying the festivities. The next hunt, I recommend you wear padding, goggles, and otherwise be prepared to be taken out, as I will secure revenge for every bruise and ruined piece of apparel.”

I feared what would happen during the next hunt, but I would claim so many points he would have to work to ever beat me. “I acknowledge that you have warned me that I will pay for this hunt, two-fold if you can manage. But can you manage? I have so many points right now.”

Mr. Stephans regarded me through narrowed eyes. “Calden, we’re teaming up against her next hunt. We will ruthlessly crush her.”

“Why are you involving me in this?”

“I know how many points she has, and she’s made it clear I must more than double her week’s tally. She didn’t say we couldn’t team up.”

“Why would I be teaming up with you rather than with her?”

“She can be your prize if I win.”

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