Page 88 of Moon Tamed

“I see.” Calden’s father narrowed his eyes, and he did as I’d instructed, taking care to tap out all the blue glitter on his son before depositing the folder onto my desk. “It would have been three points if I had managed to get you with the glitter.”

“You get three points for glittering Calden, though, so that’s something.”

“Calden’s worth less points right now.”

“When did that rule get added?”

“About five minutes after you collared and leashed him. He’s no longer a top prize.”

I raised a brow. As far as I was concerned, there was no better prize in the faction, but if his father wanted to claim fewer points, I’d let him. “If people view me as a prize, they’re going about it in the absolute wrong way. They come close enough for me to shoot, Mr. Stephans.”

“They just like crushing me cruelly beneath their heels, and you’re the first person to blatantly come into my office and shoot me with a paintball gun. Honestly, everyone is shocked someone actually did it even though it’s allowed in the rules. We’re all very orderly people who only crush each other in the primary events. You’ve earned so many points at this stage, nobody can beat you without following your example, and watching you just shoot everyone who comes in your range with your new wolf in tow is just a joy, so we’re giving it to you. Fortune favors the bold and all.”

“Isn’t that just another way of saying you might get lucky but you’re most likely going to get eaten by a wolf for trying to pet it in the forest?”

“Please don’t pet strange wolves in the forest.”

I pointed at Calden. “He has taught me wolves are soft and fluffy. I’m doomed. I’m going to get eaten by a wolf in the forest because now all I think of when I see a wolf is how badly I want to pet it.”

Calden’s father heaved a sigh. “I’m not sure I can fix this problem. Make sure you tell my son he must always escort you into the woods else you might really get eaten by wild animals.”

“Are there even wild wolves here?”

“There’s a pack in Stonecreek, and they sometimes venture into Moonriver, but not often. That’s why we’re having so many problems with the rabbit population. The birds of prey that eat rabbits are few and far between, and the wolves prefer Stonecreek. We’ve thought about trying to bring in a rehabilitated pack. There is just one problem with this: we have a bunch of shapeshifting wolves, and the wild ones are smart enough to steer clear of us. We’re bigger and smarter than they are.”

“Following that logic, it should be perfectly safe for me to go pet any wolves I see in Moonriver as the chances of encountering a non-shapeshifter are slim.”

“Please don’t pet unidentified wolves.”

“But wolves are huge, soft, and cuddly.” I pointed at Calden. “I present evidence of my case. They’re also great foot warmers, and he’s quiet when sleeping.”

“I’m questioning what you did to my son to wear him out so much he’s sleeping as a wolf in your office.”

“I made him hunt rabbits without damaging their pelts. We earned an epic amount of book money, as he was really good at dispatching them without hurting their fur. I even killed two with a bow and arrow!”

“Ah. He taught you archery?”

“The first kill was beginner’s luck. The second one was also beginner’s luck after an offensive number of misses.” I nudged Calden with my foot until he woke up. “You were just assaulted by your father, and now you need to spend the rest of the day plotting your revenge. I recommend rubbing against anyone you want to score points on.”

It took Calden a solid minute to comprehend what his father had done to him, and he heaved a sigh before casting a disapproving look at both of us.

Calden’s father chuckled, bent over, and kissed his son’s nose. “I have more glitter in my office. I’ll present the receipts proving the abusive use of the petty cash funds by the end of the day. I have a pile of them for you. I also have the expenses report for the upcoming date nights prepared, how I’m wrangling them into legitimate business trips to lower general expenses, and what I’m paying for out of pocket. Do try to put together a particularly scathing report of my wrong doings. I’m opening an election to start in three weeks to last for a month. I’ll make the announcement tomorrow, and the election will begin once we are back from the camping trip. If you could publish a preliminary report focusing on all the horrible, terrible things I’ve been doing, that would be excellent.”

“Are you trying to get fired?”

“I’m trying to motivate the leaders of the other factions to step up and take over. Maybe if they start actually competing, I wouldn’t win the election by a landslide again. For a bunch of people who enjoy polling about how shitty I am, they keep voting for me, and they need to stop it.”

I stared at him. “Are you all right, Mr. Stephans?”

“Why wouldn’t I be all right?”

“You are spouting complete and utter nonsense.”

“Your refusal to post only the negative things that you have discovered in your initial investigation is utter nonsense.”

Ah, right. I had made such a refusal, as my job was to offer a non-biased, balanced report of all his activities. Outside of the petty cash fund usage, I’d located a few instances where he’d skipped work to take a mental health day without notifying anybody he needed fresh air. Unfortunately for my boss, I’d identified the causes of all the abrupt failures to show up at work, and they always counted as legitimate mental health issues or emergencies.

Most were due to someone outside of the Hunters kidnapping Calden, and only if there wasn’t an emergency going on at work. When there was a legitimate emergency at work, Calden’s father had worked overtime while waiting for a call regarding the whereabouts of his son.

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