Page 12 of Moon Tamed

I struggled to keep from laughing, as my brother had used a pair of male artisans decked out in only body paint for the delivery.

“All right, so using nude men to surprise Mom crossed a few lines.”

“Coraline, you can have him for a year,” our mother said.

My brother pouted. “Hey! A month is bad enough. Why a year?”

“One of the men you hired is my boss, you wretched little devil!”

Calden raised a hand to his mouth. Otherwise, he remained calm and collected.

“I didn’t know that! I just hired for a delivery job meant to add spice to my mother’s life.”

“Want him for life, Coraline?”

“No, but thank you. A year of running errands for me seems like punishment enough.” I grinned at my brother. “Next time, stick with birds rather than involving people.”

“I now understand how you kept a straight face while colluding with my father to make me eat that travesty, Miss Patten.”

“What travesty?” my father asked. “I was unaware you’re acquainted with Calden.”

“With her love of kitten print panties? He’s her new side gig for work. What self-respecting Hunter would go for kitten print panties?”

“Mom?” I asked.

“If you’re going to kill your brother, do it with the partridge in the pear tree. Just let me unlock the door first and try not to break the house.”

“Run, little brother, for today is the day you die.” I got to my feet and moved out of the way so our mother could let us in. “Also, there’s nothing wrong with kitten print. You’re just a hater of fun.”

“No, I’m a man who understands what other men want, and it’s not kitten print with tiny bows. Right, Dad?”

“You’re so dead, Peter. Your partridges will eat you in their pear tree,” I hissed.

“Shh, Coraline. I want Dad to confirm the truth. He knows the real path.”

My father shook his head and sighed. “To where? The couch for all eternity?”

I giggled. “Point to Dad.”

“Go ahead and educate our son. We’ve obviously failed him.” My mother waved her hand and jangled her keys at my father before unlocking the door.

“What’s the point? He’s hopeless.”

“She’s wearing kitten print panties with tiny bows, Dad.”

“And? If he only cares about her panties, then he isn’t good enough for my little girl—and if I catch wind you only care about what a woman is wearing under her clothes, you’ll wish I’d actually let your sister kill you with a partridge in a pear tree. Go set the table. We have a guest, and you’ve already embarrassed yourselves enough.”

Puzzled, Peter glanced at me. “Are you embarrassed?”

“No. Am I supposed to be embarrassed?”

“Want two children cheap, Calden?”

“Can I use the one as prey in a hunt?”

Oh. Calden had a sense of humor.

I would need far longer than six months to recover from Calden Stephans’s general existence.

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