Page 41 of My Sinner

Suspicion filled her chest.

“Why?” She lifted her chin. “Why did you do that?”

“Because no child ought to live their life without having anything to remember their parents by.”

Her fists curled. Anger filled her at the duplicity in his words. She punched his shoulder. He didn’t budge an inch.

“Why?” She punched him again. “Why would you do that? It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

His silence only aggravated her anger.

For years, she and her brothers had lived with the agony of not having a single memory of their parents; no pictures, no articles of clothing, no jewellery—nothing. And now he’d given her this. She didn’t know what to make of it.

“Why?” She punched him harder. “You knew what this would mean to me. Why show me this? Why now?”

“Because I didn’t know how else to get across to you. This was my only way of showing you that I cared for you then, and I care for you now,” he shot out. “Why else would I have saved these videos for you? They’re not my legacy; they are yours.”

His response broke through all the shields and layers she had put in place around herself for years. She hadn’t wept for that night—and for him—in years, but his one act of kindness, of showing her this video, cracked through all her carefully built defences and stabbed right into her heart.

“My parents were good people,” she raged, her tears falling harder.

His face twisted in sadness. “They were.”

“They didn’t deserve what happened to them. They deserved to live…to see Aaryan and Vihaan succeed, fall in love, and be happy. They deserved to see my…”

She halted, catching herself before she said her son’s name. God! Her parents would have loved Neil…so much. But this man had ensured none of that happened.

“They died because of you…” She sniffed, punching him harder. “My parents adored you. My mom treated you as her own. Yet, you stood silently and watched them get killed. How could you do that? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, holding her hands in his. “I’m so sorry.”

She pulled her hands from his, and he released her. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

“How does your sorry erase the past?” she screamed. “You as good as killed them. They died because of you…because of your silence.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save them, Avantika.” His eyes shone with emotion. “I had so many choices to make at that time. I was too young and put in a difficult situation, one I wasn’t capable of handling. I didn’t have a lot of time. So, I did the best I could. It isn’t forgivable, I know. I couldn’t save them, but I could saveyouand your brothers, and so I did that.”

She put her hands on her ears, shaking her head. “I don’t want to listen to your words. I don’t want to listen to you. Everything that happened in the past was because of you. You’re the bad guy. You’ve always been the bad guy. You hurt me. You hurt all of us.”

“I did.”

The past…that awful night… It flashed in front of her eyes again, and she sank down on the sofa, sobbing. Dev sat next to her and pulled her in his arms. She resisted going to him, but he was stronger and gathered her to himself, wrapping his arms around her as she cried.

“I’m so sorry, Avantika,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save them. I tried but I couldn’t. The guilt of their death remains like a black void in my chest till date.”

“You should have said something, done something that day.”

She lifted her face to look at him. He wiped her cheeks.

“I couldn’t,” he whispered. “I swear to you I couldn’t. You need to hear me out, baby. You need to know everything.”

“Not tonight, please…” She looked at the screen, pausing the video on a visual of her parents looking at one another. “They look so happy.” A cry of pain escaped her lips. “T…tonight, after so long, I feel like they’re with m…me again. I can’t do this tonight. I just want to watch them some more.”

He dropped his forehead to hers. “Whenever you’re ready then.”

God! Would she ever be ready to hear him out? She didn’t know anymore. Dev continued to hold her close as she wept into his chest. She’d lost so much that night and suffered so much more thereafter. And now, Dev was forcing her to think differently about that night, telling her that another version of their history existed, one in which he’d been forced to behave the way he had.

The implications of that were gigantic. The impact of that would perhaps forever change the way she looked at him. She was tempted to hear him out, and with each day that she spent in his company, witnessing his compassion and consideration toward her, that temptation only grew and became more urgent. She shut her eyes. Tomorrow, she’d decide this tomorrow once and for all.

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